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Jokes, your best your worse and all the rubbish on the internet between


Slowlycatchymonkey

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7 minutes ago, XTreme said:

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She'd make a great PM..........she's certainly thick enough! I think that Putin made some remark about her being a bit dim? 

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Rumour has it that Kawasaki and Yamaha are closing many of their plants due to declining bike sales. Apparently, the Baby-Boomers all have motorcycles, and Generation X is only buying a very few, and the next generation, the Millennials, aren’t buying any at all.

A recent study was conducted to find out why.

Here are the reasons why Millennials don't ride motorcycles and why sales are down:

1. Pants won't pull up far enough for them to straddle the seat.

2. Can't get their phone to their ear with a helmet on.

3. Can't use 2 hands to eat while driving.

4. They don't get a trophy and a recognition plaque just for buying one.

5. Don't have enough muscle to hold the bike up when stopped.

6 Might have a bug hit them in the face and then they would need emergency care.

7. Motorcycles don't have air conditioning.

8. They can't afford one because they spent 12 years in college trying to get a degree in Humanities, Social Studies or Gender Studies for which no jobs are available.

9. They are allergic to fresh air.

10. Their pajamas get caught on the exhaust pipes.

11. They might get their hands dirty checking the oil.

12. The handle bars have buttons and levers and cannot be controlled by touch-screen.

13. You have to shift manually and use something called a clutch.

14. It's too hard to take selfies while riding.

15. They don't come with training wheels like their bicycles did.

16. Motorcycles don't have power steering or power brakes.

17. Their nose ring interferes with the visor.

18. They would have to use leg muscle to back up.

19. When they stop, a light breeze might blow exhaust in their face.

20 It could rain on them and expose them to non-soft water.

21. It might scare their therapy dog, and then the dog would need therapy.

22. Their man bun wont fit under a helmet.

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36 minutes ago, Mawsley said:

 

The Parisien police comissioner in charge of Road Safety just crashed his car... into an ambulance on call...  injured a doctor on board and wrote off his unmarked police car and an ambulance. He was using his 2 tone and blue lights and speeding because

wait for it...

He was Late for a meeting!

There will obviously be an investigation by the STJA ( service for Judicial Treatement of traffic accidents) a specific parisien brigade directed by...

 

wait for it...

 

The police comissioner for road safety. 

no it's not a joke, no it's not funny, you couldn't make it up if you tried but it's proof that people are the same the world over, give 'em a uniform and tell them they'e special and they take liberties and think they're immune to the law. 

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