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So, you mugged the kebab delivery lad and now you're trying to flog his bike? Is business that slow?

Yes but its at least a foot and a half away from his shorter stump

I'm glad you are better Pete but couldn't you just have told us rather than another old man groin shot. You're a sick puppy.

Just been out for lesson 4 with my youngest. She is getting better, no spills, no stalls and pulled up smoothly and safely every time. She is chuffed with the progress. Kept the lesson down to 40 minutes which for her seems to be the sweet spot in terms of her concentration at the moment. Did some figures of eight both ways as well big loops but I am more chuffed with the controlled stops. Next steps will be using 2nd gear but I want her to be totally comfortable before we move on. All seems to be snails pace but it is all about confidence with this one. From my point of view I have spent quite a lot of time on the CB125F the last couple of weeks and have to say it is a thoroughly pleasant little thing to live with. Dog slow but that comes with the territory for a bike this size. It does haul our combined weights (over 20 stone) around competently and it's no chore to take her out on the thing.

the mileage on his Audi

My stump isn't in my nether regions and it's not covered in pubes ............

I think he's playing another of his games! Not post for a few days and he's expecting people to ask where he is......like I've banned him or something. Then he turns up again like a returning war hero to save the day!

No wonder we haven't got any female members when the owner just flaunts his nether regions like he's cut his thumb or something ...............

Think yourself lucky that Moose Boy isn't here to demonstrate the superiority of his groin!

There'll be a few on here dusting off their passports!

voge rally you say.... you telling us something here

just looking at a bike auction ...look at the top box on this fucker

You've shown your stump numerous times!

Getting a doctors appointment is virtually impossible here, luckily i don't get ill enough to need a doctor's attention very often but when i have i just turn up at the doctors and tell them whats wrong and they have seen me within half hour. I've done this three times in the last year and had the same result each time. i think it's to ward off the time wasters and unemployed treating it as a day out.

Just checked onto the online portal for the Health Centre and all the times in the bottom box are available tomorrow. Life in this Third World Country is killing me!

On other news, I seem to have lost my doctor. That’s what you get in Portugal when you don’t get sick very often

Da fuck! It’s just wrong to surprise people like this. I thought you were having another grandchild or a new bike.

No and the adblue issue has come back this morning on way to work so the weekend I'll be back to tell them to keep it and I'll let the finance company know I've given it back because it wasn't as stated in the ad

Yes, have a few drinks and hop on something with one wheel that accelerates according to your balance!

Performance is a bit different on the dirt to the road, i had a mate that was a full on racer thought he was the fastest around he used to ride R1's and Ducatis as fast as he could on the road. One day he announced he was buying a CRF450 i mentioned it might be a bit too powerful for him to learn to ride off road on as it has pretty harsh fueling and throttle response but he dismissed me and got it anyway. I was talking to him in the pub the night after he got it and he leaned over to me and said smugly it's not too fast Fred, i said where have you been on it and he had only ridden it home from blunder road in Bridgend which was about 20 miles mostly motorway. He started riding off road with a few friends of mine and after a month he sold it told me it wasn't for him wasn't what he was into. A few months after that i bumped into the friends he'd been riding with, well he hadn't told me the full story had he apparently he spent more time on the floor than riding it falling off on the flat going up hill down hill in ruts you name it he'd fallen off on it and they all took the piss out of him, but he was the kind that couldn't take a bit of banter so the one day they were out after a bit of piss taking he disappeared. They waited for him for a while and when he didn't show up they started getting worried and went looking for him, spent a couple of hours riding around the forestry but no sign of him so they went to his house to see if his missus had heard from him before they called the emergency services and the fucker was there, he got pissed off and went home sulking and that's when he sold the bike and never mentioned it again to me. It wasn't the bike that was the problem though it was him he was too pig headed to take any advise because he thought he was the best at everything. That was another episode from dead Phil's short life. Oh that 350 will have plenty of power just don't expect to be tearing around at 80mph everywhere on it, your probably looking at 50 to 60 mph as a comfortable speed but it will get there pretty quick

He's not that tall....

Don't encourage him we need less photos of men's private areas not more

Now you mention yes, it's the same model as the wife's, it sticks to the road like glue and is really nice to drive but you feel every little bump and i need a winch to get me out its so low

I have heard that most girls learn to do challenging things in a very different way than boys. The way they see a challenge and learn to conquer it reward a different approach than boys. Doesn’t mean it’s worse or better, but good job on you to get through to her.

Can see that ending up in someones wank bank

I don't want to be pedantic but that was a S-Max

Hello my old friend....

DR650? Or something a bit lighter? Voge 300 Rally?

he will never have to put ad blue in again i reckon

I didn't hear a word she said.

Good point … I’ll have to get another old van as well

Multi pack at least.

I’ve never seen anything like it! I think it would be a great stag do night out

Talking of Audis, just had a call from a mate losing coolant. Waterpump n cam belt kit on order. @busabeast did they say what the fixes were?

It is rather like skiing. It does take a bit of time to learn, a bit like learning to ride a push bike all over again, but well worth once you have the hang of it. I used to put mine under the seat on the train ad get around London with it but like everything, as people want these things cheaper and cheaper and buy anything (electric scooters, skateboards etc) with shit no name chink batteries, then the my e-bike caught fire, these things are dangerous headlines started. So TFL don't allow this kind of thing on the train any more.

Headed to the woods with your “nephew” are you?

Coronation Street.

Large packet of crisps then

but Popeye will come looking for you

Yes but inflation has gone up by 17% and its been backdated 4 years!

https://www.facebook.com/share/r/GkWpoxWG13aj5dcn/

No enduro bike comes with long service intervals. Having said that if you’re only trail riding then you won’t have to do it as much as you would if you were racing. The KTM 350/500 exc’s are light and powerful, just change the oil every 1000 miles and they will be fine .

I broke my collar bone in one of those as a baby the old man crashed it with 5 of us squeezed in i'm sure i mentioned it on here before