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The Lurgy seems to be releasing its grip, so I may try a walk to Tesco later.......and the Christmas tree and decs are coming down tomorrow too! Bah Humbug

The dog was added in later to make the story better, you were not paying attention as the story wasn’t about you.

Yeth I haff

My missus loves the whole Xmas thing and one year we had a ‘heated discussion’ about the merits of decorations……she got the hump and took them all down on Boxing Day while I was out on my bike……..didn’t bother me in the slightest but you should have seen the disappointment on her face for the next week or so.

And it’s clean again….

I told them not to make fun of you, that you are too dum to understand, but they keep doing it.

I'd kick hith arth

Do you still have a dog ?

Had a nice dinner with Sofia, and now settling in from if the TV to see some Youtube Dakar broadcasts and drink a little whiskey. Happy New Year to all!

Congratulations @Saul, BOTY!

5. The artist formally known as Marcel will not take his meds go dolally and flounce. Then come back a few weeks later as if nothing happened. Happened before

You'd just go and win that aswell

The last time you thought no meant yes, shall we talk about what happened?

Has you can tell , was kinda lazy and didn't make room for the car...wind is still howling....haven't gone out yet...

There was something about furniture and the spare room, computer being on a high shelf and there was a kangaroo.

Put your dentures in...we can't understand a word...

Rude! Is that any way to start off the New Year?

You never know, he is 19 and dumb as a rock but I can’t claim to have been much different at his age. To my knowledge he has been down 3 times in 2 years. He treats Shadow right and I genuinely like him so I hope he gets through. Shadow won’t let him hang with the numpties anymore so that is a positive. She bollocks him about bad riding

Spent all afternoon fitting How Highs Christmas present and repairing the fairing panels they mount two. Both were cracked and split where he dropped the death trap on separate occasions. Anyway two new front indicators a tube of epoxy putty and a load of new push button fixings and it’s holding together again.

He's not aware of anything like that...too self centred

Went out for a mooch about on the Hornet now I fitted the new battery. Went up to Damerells but it is closed until the new year. The Hornet rode like a dream, I all too often forget what it is like. Ended up coming home after 40 miles or so, just to bloody cold for my old carcass

They found the brain of the operation in that big tax fraud in Minnesota...

You're right, Marcel. I believe you're being targeted and victimized.

Probably wondered why the turkey was trying to escape.

Plenty to do but can’t get my arse of the sofa.

Happy new year to all. I went to bed at 10.30, watched tele till 2am till Mandi got in. She didn't want to go out either but was dragged out by the daughter.

Happy new year mate, enjoy your evenings all Happy new year to the whole forum

Thank you everyone, I will put the picture of my bike up shortly.

Well it might be not about wild predictions, but more like what you all have in plan for 2026...for me I've got to take my health more seriously and start exercising.., id love to try to make it to sturgis this year , it should be a 2 week journey or possibly more...something I've never attempted before...being on the road for that long...

Out on the GTS to check on the mods I did. It’s feckin freezing, stopped here but having a coffee , too cold for beer

I don't think I can dumb it down enough for you to understand.

Last weekend I saw something at The Gun Show that sparked my interest. I was looking for a little something different for my wife Dana. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized Tazer. The effects of the Taser were supposed to be short lived, with no long term adverse effect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety...?? WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home.. I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed I learned, however, that if I pushed the button and pressed it against a metal surface at the same time, I'd get the blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs. AWESOME!!! Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Dana what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave. Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two AAA batteries, right? There I sat in my recliner, my cat Leo looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target. I must admit I thought about zapping Leo (for a fraction of a second) and then thought better of it. He is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong? So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a singlet with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and Taser in another. The directions said that: a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; and a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries. All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference (loaded with two itsy, bitsy AAA batteries); pretty cute really, and thinking to myself, 'no possible way!' What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best. I'm sitting there alone, the cat looking on with his head cocked to one side so as to say, 'Don't do it stupid,' reasoning that a one second burst from such a tiny lil ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad.. I decided to give myself a one second burst just for heck of it. I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and... HOLY MOTHER OF GOD. WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION. WHAT THE... !!! I AM CERTAIN I JUST MET JESUS!!! I'm pretty sure Hulk Hogan ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs! The cat was making meowing sounds I had never heard before, clinging to a picture frame hanging above the fireplace, obviously in an attempt to avoid getting slammed by my body flopping all over the living room. Note: If you ever feel compelled to 'mug' yourself with a Taser, one note of caution: There is NO such thing as a one second burst when you zap yourself! You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor! A three second burst would be considered conservative! A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape. · My bent reading glasses were on the top of the TV. · The recliner was upside down and about 8 feet or so from where it originally was. · My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching. · My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs. · I had no control over the drooling. · Apparently I had crapped in my shorts, but was too numb to know for sure, and my sense of smell was gone. · I saw a faint smoke cloud above my head, which I believe came from my hair. I'm still looking for my testicles and I'm offering a significant reward for their safe return! PS: My wife can't stop laughing about my experience, loved the gift and now regularly threatens me with it!

Told you we need a horizontal picture, and that yours was a vertical one. What did you expect?