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I have several times, especially when I was younger. As teanagers we all used to hang at Polmear Cafe. One wet day I had to go, in my dads work gear yellow leggings and donkey jacket. I had a Suzuki TS185, I jumped up high to kickstart it in true moto crosser fashion, as we all did for no reason back then, only for my foot to slip off the kickstart and it to shoot up the inside of my nanaman leggings and stop me putting my foot down as I slowing fell over to the right with momentum. Of course all my mates were watching and cheered. Bastards. By the time I got out from under the bike one twat had written 6.0 on two sheets of A4 in Olympic gymnastic style and was holding it up to the window. Of course the piss was takenmfor weeks after

FIFTY SHADES OF GREY BY PAM AYRES The missus bought a Paperback, down Shepton Mallet way, I had a look inside her bag;... T'was "Fifty Shades of Grey". Well I just left her to it, And at ten I went to bed. An hour later she appeared; The sight filled me with dread. In her left hand she held a rope; And in her right a whip! She threw them down upon the floor, And then began to strip. Well fifty years or so ago; I might have had a peek; But Mabel hasn't weathered well; She's eighty four next week!! Watching Mabel bump and grind; Could not have been much grimmer. And things then went from bad to worse; She toppled off her Zimmer! She struggled back upon her feet; A couple minutes later; She put her teeth back in and said "I am a dominator!!" Now if you knew our Mabel, You'd see just why I spluttered, I'd spent two months in traction For the last complaint I'd uttered. She stood there nude and naked Bent forward just a bit I went to hold her, sensual like and stood on her left tit! Mabel screamed, her teeth shot out; My God what had I done! She moaned and groaned then shouted out: "Step on the other one!!" Well readers, I can tell no more; Of what occurred that day. Suffice to say my jet black hair, Turned fifty shades of grey!!

Here’s my effort for February………look it’s even got pretty blossom in the background.

@boboneleg has been spotted with his posse. https://www.facebook.com/reel/3696490163822025/?fs=e&s=TIeQ9V&fs=e&fs=e

Well what can I say but “GET IN!” You’ll all be riding Chinese by the end of the year

My one is when I got my kawasaki eliminator me and my dad had just got to the bike dealer and it is sat out front brand new, so after talking to the owner of the shop we said our goodbyes, I got on the bike took it off the sidestand and promptly fell over as I was surprised by the weight, anyway picked it up and dusted myself and the bike down, no damage to either, it was sat back on its sidestand so I thought ok lets try this again... so again I sat on the bike, flipped the sidestand back up and lost balance and over it went on to its other side.... As it happened 3rd time lucky I had it upright and off we went

He's not riding an Indian.

Just been out and got some fuel and fired the Sprint up. Sounds awesome to my ears. Started up reasonably quickly once the fuel got through. Came off choke and I had to adjust the tickover slightly but that was it. Impressed that my low fuel light decided to join the party with fuel in the tank. Everything is working including the fan. No reason not to ride it now. I will start with a few short trips until I am used to it, but I haven’t felt like this about a bike since I had my 1978 R100RS.

Balance is restored

Yeah, but what can I do about it? My bike has PEDALS so I'm automatically DQ'd.....at least it has the correct number of wheels...ffs I'm just that amputee NuklHed that posts pics of machines & places that we'd like to have or pay a visit to.

Thats the issue mate you've taken her to Kingsmill.... she needed a hospital and you've taken her to a bread making factory

Pedro its simply cause 99 % of us aren't riding at the moment..most are still dealing with mid winter conditions...unlike you..who's experiencing spring...the lack of participants isn't cause of you , in fact you did and excellent job, and thanks for taking the time ...

Next time.

I think @Saul did an excellent job of bike of the month.

What happens with a group of gay men in the woods stays in the woods.

Lightweight.

Only out for a couple of hours and 55 miles but had to take advantage of the weather. Pretty skies.

Out on the atv...beautiful sunny days...

Bitumen sprayers are classed as plant. I didn't realise you had packed in proper driving, probably a wise choice given your track record though.

I’m sure it wouldn’t be the first time you had a wet arse.

My shed has been named the ‘Healing Shed’ according to Shadow. Her bike is now resident as I am going to tidy it up again. First job is to get these scratches out that were caused by Storm Goretti a few weeks ago. I was given a random orbital car polisher for my birthday several years ago. I never used it, don’t really care about polishing cars that much, plus my car is pretty good paint wise. Today was the day to try it out to see if I could fix Shadows tank. I was surprised how well it worked with just Autoglym polish. Bit to big and cumbersome for a bike really but it certainly worked well. The results aren’t perfect but pretty presentable. Mucky bleddy thing to use though. I got as much polish on me as I did the bike. Tucked away for the night, I am going to touch in the rust sections on the frame and crash bars tomorrow. Loads of little things to do. And I don’t doubt Shadow will want it back then to smash up again. I don’t mind really.

Just had some foamy therapy cleaning up the CBF and Shadows bike. Also had a close look at what needs to be done cosmetically after Shadows damage and storm Goretti’s damage to it. Not to bad really few bits and bobs to be paired and some paint correction (polishing) on the tank. A few days in the healing shed will get most of it done.

Well that recommendation sounds like the kiss of death

So unlike you to go off on one and fuck everything up for yourself. You stable genius you.

What could possibly go wrong?

Time to get you pictures up for February. Rules are as before. Picture must be landscape, must be a bike you still own, no photoshop, no AI, must be a Motorcycle. my decision is final. Thanks for running BOTM Pedro you did a cracking job I will start a poll on the 27th so you have 3 days to get your pictures up.

Well, after dealing w/ a plugged up sewer pipe running through my yard....that the neighbor is also attached to...for a month now...finally got it fixed yesterday. 6ft. of pipe was completely plugged w/ tree roots that was on the hillside of the front yard. Had a plumbing outfit come out w/ an excavator & dig it up...replaced the plugged section w/ PVC pipe & then back fill the deep-a$$ trench they dug. The amount of sh*t water that came out when they cut out that section of pipe was astonishing. Now all I have to do is recap the 2 clean-outs in the yard & then wait for the (probably Stoopid expensive bill) the show up. Fortunately, the neighbor has agree'd to split the bill w/ me since his 130 y/o house was probably the 1st house on this hillside back in the day. I'm just glad it's done. Next ordeal is to start collecting materials to re-roof my garden shed....which should be a lot easier on the wallet.

After cleaning the CBF I decided to go out for a bimble and ended up doing 100 miles. Headed over to Bodmin then on to follow the North Coast Road West. Bloody windy but not cold. I had my leather and summer gloves on and was plenty comfy. Heated grips on of course. A couple of miles from home I realised I hadn’t taken a single photo, in fact I don’t think I even put a foot down so I stopped and did Lovely chilled out ride on the CBF that is a joy to be on.

It's the way I have been bred.

At least you are using your loaf.

I prefer Warburtons myself....

Fuck me someone agrees with something the Indian call centre spam caller....

Saul is excellent candidate for BOTM mod gig...marcel approved...

It's was a lovely sunny afternoon here but it's my Mrs's birthday today. Probably not the best day to fuck off on the bike

Think I broke Pedro with the qwad...lol.

Bugger! I could have took a photo on my epic ride to the hospital today.......I parked in the bike/motorcycle area, next to a R1, when I came out after visiting time he/she had moved the bike along 2 places!.

Looks like a job for @Six30, unfortunately he flounced like a pussy. Better call @Saul