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My first time riding with my girlfriend and on our first trip on the R1150GS, heading to the Algarve for my birthday. First stop to take a picture overlooking the ocean, I confidently dig the front wheel on some softer sand, promptly dropping the bike. Not the best start

I would venture a guess that it's a Canuckistan slang term for "Blipped".... guess that happens when a squad of queers drink too much & ride qwads in the snow...

My Late Lady used to say to me, spend your money on what ever you want to spend it on. You are only here once. Please forgive any crap spelling i am pi55ed. Lyn.

I have several times, especially when I was younger. As teanagers we all used to hang at Polmear Cafe. One wet day I had to go, in my dads work gear yellow leggings and donkey jacket. I had a Suzuki TS185, I jumped up high to kickstart it in true moto crosser fashion, as we all did for no reason back then, only for my foot to slip off the kickstart and it to shoot up the inside of my nanaman leggings and stop me putting my foot down as I slowing fell over to the right with momentum. Of course all my mates were watching and cheered. Bastards. By the time I got out from under the bike one twat had written 6.0 on two sheets of A4 in Olympic gymnastic style and was holding it up to the window. Of course the piss was takenmfor weeks after

FIFTY SHADES OF GREY BY PAM AYRES The missus bought a Paperback, down Shepton Mallet way, I had a look inside her bag;... T'was "Fifty Shades of Grey". Well I just left her to it, And at ten I went to bed. An hour later she appeared; The sight filled me with dread. In her left hand she held a rope; And in her right a whip! She threw them down upon the floor, And then began to strip. Well fifty years or so ago; I might have had a peek; But Mabel hasn't weathered well; She's eighty four next week!! Watching Mabel bump and grind; Could not have been much grimmer. And things then went from bad to worse; She toppled off her Zimmer! She struggled back upon her feet; A couple minutes later; She put her teeth back in and said "I am a dominator!!" Now if you knew our Mabel, You'd see just why I spluttered, I'd spent two months in traction For the last complaint I'd uttered. She stood there nude and naked Bent forward just a bit I went to hold her, sensual like and stood on her left tit! Mabel screamed, her teeth shot out; My God what had I done! She moaned and groaned then shouted out: "Step on the other one!!" Well readers, I can tell no more; Of what occurred that day. Suffice to say my jet black hair, Turned fifty shades of grey!!

I’m driven to it because I have to deal with you, the spawn of Satan, on a daily basis.

Well what can I say but “GET IN!” You’ll all be riding Chinese by the end of the year

My one is when I got my kawasaki eliminator me and my dad had just got to the bike dealer and it is sat out front brand new, so after talking to the owner of the shop we said our goodbyes, I got on the bike took it off the sidestand and promptly fell over as I was surprised by the weight, anyway picked it up and dusted myself and the bike down, no damage to either, it was sat back on its sidestand so I thought ok lets try this again... so again I sat on the bike, flipped the sidestand back up and lost balance and over it went on to its other side.... As it happened 3rd time lucky I had it upright and off we went

Too nice out there to work so went for a walk. Got Mandi to drop me off in Acle on her way to work. 14 miles to get home and my knees ain't happy. Should have put me boots on too.

When did you become the spelling check police ? Tourette....is that better ? Lol.

Next time.

I think @Saul did an excellent job of bike of the month.

What happens with a group of gay men in the woods stays in the woods.

Lightweight.

Only out for a couple of hours and 55 miles but had to take advantage of the weather. Pretty skies.

Out on the atv...beautiful sunny days...

Bitumen sprayers are classed as plant. I didn't realise you had packed in proper driving, probably a wise choice given your track record though.

I’m sure it wouldn’t be the first time you had a wet arse.

Have you ever crashed your bike while riding, but almost at a standstill? Many years ago I did ...riding to work ...I was wearing the usual bike gear (helmet, jacket and gloves) except for jeans and a pair of Para boots. I was coming to a stop at the traffic lights, I was almost stopped, i put my foot down and the loop of the boot lace got caught on the sidestand, making it impossible for me to put my foot on the ground, and over I went! I did it in front of some people waiting to cross the road, they laughed they found it hilarious, me? Not so much... Gathered myself up, and the bike too, no damage to either the bike or me....it was the slowest crash I ever had up to then. Any of you done anything silly like that. ?

I hate selling vehicles because of the messers. I don't sell much at all to be honest I tend to run my cars until they die. Last two cars I got rid of, one went to auction, the other my van that eat it's gearbox went to a mechanic mate who fixed it for his wife's cleaning business. Backalong I sold a good Honda CRV to a chancer who tried to extort money from me because of so called problems with the car that I supposedly didn't declare. Absolute bollocks, he even tried to threaten me. I just told him where to go but it's hassle you don't need. Also I sold my Chinky 125 to another goon who brought it back because it wasn't running right, because he didn't know how to turn the choke off, I reached under and did just that and it ran perfectly. Absolute bell end. I just can't be arsed with dealing with them anymore. I think it's my age I just can't be aresed with the F'wits anymore. Luckily my spotless 24 year old BMW 3 series has still only done 94,000 and is running and driving exactly as it should. If I get rid of it, prolly take it to the auction, isn't worth anything anyway.

In other news.............I have fixed the 3rd brake light, without busting it. it just clips in, and it is not a LED, it had 1 bulb with a reflector panel.

I hope you got the money before you blocked him like any proper scammer would.

I suppose, even in the condition it is in i could have tried for a bit more, and then have it stood on my drive for weeks, or longer, before if sold, and get numerous "I will offer you messages. I had one guy enquire about buying it, just has the guy who eventually bought it turned up here. I got back to this other guy and told him... Sorry it has sold.....he messages back saying "Sold so quick!, iam reporting you to Facebook, you must be a scammer"....I told him to get on with it then....Deleted and Blocked.

Yeh I got £700 for it, in good mechanical condition it is probably worth £1200+ , but it ain't in good condition, it stops starts (new discs & pads last summer) as it should, but it requires 2 of the problems that it has needing sorting out for the next MOT.... the rear axle and exhaust.

We started drinking at 10 am , by the time I got home I was pretty well wasted..lol. Yesterday afternoon on the trail cooking some food..

Congratulations @Skippy Great Photo.

so my pic didnt get included it was my bike and all

Anything will be better than the shed on the front page now.

I have updated the picture but can’t change the Poll. Doesn’t seem to be holding you back any

My Pedalmethingy is known as the Cyberbike Mullet R....

Twice. First was my brothers rd250. Thought I was showing off to a couple of girls I knew by pulling away from the traffic light with lots of throttle but didn't have it in gear and fell over. Next was on the dirt going through brambles, when I stopped my feet were tried to the pegs and I fell over again.

What about your last track day?

Out for a coffee with some mates this morning then popped down to look at the river. Best time of year, nobody around

After cleaning the CBF I decided to go out for a bimble and ended up doing 100 miles. Headed over to Bodmin then on to follow the North Coast Road West. Bloody windy but not cold. I had my leather and summer gloves on and was plenty comfy. Heated grips on of course. A couple of miles from home I realised I hadn’t taken a single photo, in fact I don’t think I even put a foot down so I stopped and did Lovely chilled out ride on the CBF that is a joy to be on.

It looks like it depends on the year, some are saying you can get a flat bladed screwdriver into the right hand side and lever it out.

He's not riding an Indian.