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I just realised that my paycheck is like my wifes period arrives once a month and last for 4 days

Pah !! Who needs the ‘ enablement centre ‘ I snapped the plastic lock button on my leg (again ) which releases my leg . I just spent an hour in the garage and fixed it with a t-shaped spacer from an Africa twin and a M8 bolt #feelingchuffed

At the spot where the two French forces met on 12th September 1944 ( one laned in Normandy with Operation Overlord, the other in Provence with Operation Dragoon) I got there just 81 years late...

The hot grips were a birthday present for my daughter’s friend who I got through her CBT. She is a genuine keen biker who sufferers from Reynard’s Syndrome so gets very cold extremities. Perfect gift I thought from our family to her as she commutes to Truro so genuinely needs them.

Shiny expensive yellow things in my car’s boot

Took an ambulance ride just now, a 91 year old lady fell down on the cobblestone street in front of Sofia’s practice and might have fractured something on her hip or leg. She was so scared to be by herself I came along for company.

been up hospital today, gave her a choice of an op to have skin graph or try stitch it... chose the second option ... she's ok though , thanks for asking

I'm running around with my pinny on , cleaning like a madman as wife and son are arriving back from Italy today . PS, I have a very nice pinny ...............

Lisbon airport sucks! On the other hand I was already felt up! On the other hand, by a dude!

Add of the week goes to …

£90 for oil & filter change, have to wait till pension pay day It was a nice little ride around the locality

Not very imaginative but I'm shit at taking photos & was in a hurry ...

Been doing my young friend a favour today.

I would buy a replacement frame and just keep it in storage, for peace of mind.

What the fuck is wrong with people letting off fireworks mid October... the dog shit itself last night jumped up and knocked our christmas tree over

Ooo you cruiser Fags are on a hair trigger today

I hope your dog shits in your bed.

thats human shit .... you weirdo saul

A man walked out to the street and caught a taxi just going by. He got into the taxi, and the cabbie said, "Perfect timing. You're just like Brian!" Passenger: "Who?" Cabbie: "Brian Sullivan. He's a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happen like that to Brian Sullivan, every single time." Passenger: "There are always a few clouds over everybody." Cabbie: "Not Brian Sullivan. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard him play the piano. He was an amazing guy." Passenger: "Sounds like he was something really special." Cabbie: "There's more. He had a memory like a computer. He remembered everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out. But Brian Sullivan, he could do everything right." Passenger: "Wow. Some guy then." Cabbie: "He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But Brian, he never made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good. He would never answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too. He was the perfect man! He never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to Brian Sullivan." Passenger: "An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?" Cabbie: "Well, I never actually met Brian. He died. I'm married to his f—king widow."

A guy called Simon went on Stars in your Eyes. Mathew Kelly noticed he had a funny walk. "You ok, Simon, I noticed your legs are a bit shaky?" "Fine, thanks for asking, Mathew," he replied. "It's just that I had a serious accident which resulted in having to have my legs amputated." "I'm really sorry to hear that, mate." Mathew said. "It"s not so bad really," Simon told him, " In fact I'm very fortunate because my uncle was fatally wounded in the same accident but the doctors managed to save his legs and transplanted them onto by body." "What a sorry and uplifting story." Mathew replied. " Anyway, who are you going to be tonight?" "Tonight, Mathew, I'm going to be Simon and Half-uncle."

At least you have the trailer now so you can take it to a real mechanic.

Drove almost 600 miles (round trip) yesterday to go visit a coupla old buddies I've known since grade school...haven't seen those guys for a handful of years. Feel pretty darned blessed that I live where I do now & don't have some of the health issues that they do. Definitely come to the conclusion that the whole left side of OR has turned into an absolute sh*t-hole-- It rained off & on across the state yesterday but today looks promising weather wise....time to get the chain put back on the Mullet & go for a Ride!

Well done the Red Roses winning the women's rugby world cup

Mod to isle five please .... we got a big spillage of someone with no fucking taste

its bike of the month not twat of the month

I'd stay clear of the woods...they might mistake you for one of their own and try to copulate with you... a Buckster Bigfoot mix breed...stuff nightmares are made from...

My first non-paying customer...lol...one of my boys called and see if I could run his trail bike to his new location...20 bucks of petrol later..lol..at least I got a thank you..lol.

My scoot travelling at 70mph would not make I think, it would be very close though.....it only has a 2.75 gallon tank. 179 mile ride would be amost 1 years riding for me.

I’m in Herefordshire fishing the river Wye with 4 mates. Attempting to catch barbel, had 8 so far between us, been great fun, last day tomorrow.

He’s using Canadian tonnes

Username yaci6246 Password 833534 Link & login to watch Dells funeral Friday 3pm. If you miss the live stream it will be available from the following Tuesday for up to 28 days after .