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Have you ever hidden from anyone?


Slowlycatchymonkey

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Background cos oh you'll judge me hard otherwise.

My mum does not like looking after other people so after my dads knee op I dropped his keys off to be told she was only staying a few days and then she had things arranged to do elsewhere, how would he get to his appointments, who would look after him? This was repeated on loop trying to make me agree to come back from Spain. 

Over the years this type manipulation where I end up being treated like a skivvying maid finally left its mark so I just shrugged and when pushed said "I don't know, you'll have to arrange his appointments for when you can be here or perhaps rearrange your appointments because I won't be here"

Lead feckin balloon. Lady bountiful only does guest appearances. So I might not have mentioned I'm back, well hardly worth it is it as I'm gone again in a couple of weeks and if she knows she'll do a runner and leave me with all the work as usual. 

 

Stopped in the supermarket on the way back from our jabs. I jokingly say if we see my parents we say we came back yesterday for our jabs and are leaving Friday. It was a joke, a tongue in cheek winky face joke playing on the deception. 

 

I'm perusing the chocolate isle...

Kakaa kakaa.

Wha??

KaKAA KAKAAA

Mr Slowly has appeared and is making loud bird sound warning signal noises behind me. 

Your mums here. I laugh a lot. KaKAA KAKAA??!! Very funny. 

Yer your mums here. I'm still laughing and now he is too. Except it was no joke she was in the supermarket.

Mr Slowly put his sunglasses on and his hood up and went to the checkout, I spied a massive stack of baskets being wheeled to the door to use as cover for my escape. Hid behind the car until Mr Slowly arrived. Laughed all the way home. 

There you go a fully grown woman hiding from their mum. Haven't done that since I was 14 when I bunked off school and she came home from work at lunch time for a cup of tea.

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Only if im getting shot at. Good time to hide. Now, the issue becomes whats cover and what just concealment, and what standing out in the open waving your arms lighting 4 cigs in a row at night will get ya in the Donbas . :classic_unsure:

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I hid in a recessed shop doorway cos a crazy bitch had chased me out of a nightclub.

She found me and slashed me across the throat with a knife! It was actually around this time of the year in 1972.

I couldn't run like that anymore obviously.......and she couldn't chase me either cos she died of cancer in 2005 aged 49.

Her life was quite dysfunctional really......she had 2 kids with 2 different blokes and walked out on both kids leaving them with the respective fathers!

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6 minutes ago, XTreme said:

I hid in a recessed shop doorway cos a crazy bitch had chased me out of a nightclub.

She found me and slashed me across the throat with a knife! It was actually around this time of the year in 1972.

I couldn't run like that anymore obviously.......and she couldn't chase me either cos she died of cancer in 2005 aged 49.

Her life was quite dysfunctional really......she had 2 kids with 2 different blokes and walked out on both kids leaving them with the respective fathers!

She sounds like she’s worth working on your stealth skills for! 

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21 minutes ago, Slowlycatchymonkey said:

She sounds like she’s worth working on your stealth skills for! 

Rugby tackled me coming out of work......chased me up the road when I was on my bike and tried to drag me off it, death threats to any girl I talked to etc.

It was the original Fatal Attraction!

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Many years ago me and my boss now were working down Cardiff way and decided to skive off for some breakfast in the local garden center which was packed, we were just finishing up and who should walk in, only our boss with the customer, we were down on our hands and knees crawling around under peoples tables trying to find our way to the exit as he walked to the counter we got out without being seen and we couldn't stop laughing about it for the rest of the day still makes me chuckle when i think about it :classic_laugh:

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4 minutes ago, XTreme said:

Rugby tackled me coming out of work......chased me up the road when I was on my bike and tried to drag me off it, death threats to any girl I talked to etc.

It was the original Fatal Attraction!

The more you talk about her the more i like her :classic_laugh:

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1 minute ago, Sir Fallsalot said:

The more you talk about her the more i like her :classic_laugh:

I remember she was in the car with me and we were coming back from Oxwich Bay.

At the time I had one of those cassette recorders playing music.....bit like this it was:

spacer.png

Anyway.....a track came on and it was Hawkwind - Silver Machine!

She picked it up......said "I don't like this"......and just lobbed the cassette player out of the fucking window at about 60mph.

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Mr Cooper, a well known resident who liked to complain. He carried a clear plastic bag with all his previous letters and replies to the council with him when he went out and would stop you in the street and show you them to prove various points. Whatever you talked about he would insist he had worked in that particular field (once told me he had the Victoria Cross). One day when out I walked on the road side of a bus shelter just as he walked on the footway side so we wouldn't bump into each other. He wasn't a horrible bloke just relentless, you could lose half a day just saying hello.

I was once walking past the flats he lived in and saw him and a colleague on his living room balcony talking. The colleague looked at me as I walked past and mouthed the words 'shoot me'.

RIP Gerald Cooper, they don't make them like you any more.

Old chief exec who should have been sectioned at birth, brought up by a famous east end vicar, a proper loon he was. He left to run a big housing association (still there). I was in a new job, no longer working for him and when I saw him walk into the office as I was drafting a plan I ducked behind my very large drawing board. I lifted my head a minute or so later to see if the coast was clear and he was the other side of the board waiting for me to appear. He asked me why I was hiding from him, I said it was because he was a scary bastard and no good ever came of meeting him previously. He laughed and walked off saying I had never had it so good working for him. His mum has a Spitalfield Life page. It has the man sleeping in a coffin picture at the bottom.

https://spitalfieldslife.com/2013/11/21/irene-stride-remembers-spitalfields/

 

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I found this quite funny you lot will probably think i'm a dick for doing it but When i was l living at home with my parents i'd had some stupid argument with my Mother so i stormed out the house to go out on the bike to calm down, as i walked down the front path to the bike two blokes approached me and started waffling on about have i ever thought about what happens when i die, i soon realised they were Jehovah's Witnesses, i new my mother always hid from them and never answered the door to them so i said i'm sorry i don't have time for you right now but my mother is interested and led them into the living room introduced them to my mother and then fucked off out on the bike with a big grin on my face, when i got home luckily my mother did see the funny side :classic_laugh:

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2 minutes ago, Sir Fallsalot said:

I found this quite funny you lot will probably think i'm a dick for doing it but When i was l living at home with my parents i'd had some stupid argument with my Mother so i stormed out the house to go out on the bike to calm down, as i walked down the front path to the bike two blokes approached me and started waffling on about have i ever thought about what happens when i die, i soon realised they were Jehovah's Witnesses, i new my mother always hid from them and never answered the door to them so i said i'm sorry i don't have time for you right now but my mother is interested and led them into the living room introduced them to my mother and then fucked off out on the bike with a big grin on my face, when i got home luckily my mother did see the funny side :classic_laugh:

Quality 😂

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1 hour ago, XTreme said:

Rugby tackled me coming out of work......chased me up the road when I was on my bike and tried to drag me off it, death threats to any girl I talked to etc.

It was the original Fatal Attraction!

you have come across some friendly women in your time Pete 🥴

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I can remember this one time.... A female customer came knocking on my door... To put in perspective.. I've been know to flirt with the lady's... I guess my fermone were to potent that day... She stopped at the shop the fallowing day.. And I was taking a floater from work she knew where I lived and my vehicle... The problem was I was living with someone at the time.. Thank God she wasn't home.. I didn't answer the door bell....She still comes to the shop but I did tell her I was seeing someone few days later...It's nothing personal.. If a lady flirts with me I'm happy to fallow around... It's part of the game... 

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3 hours ago, XTreme said:

I hid in a recessed shop doorway cos a crazy bitch had chased me out of a nightclub.

She found me and slashed me across the throat with a knife! It was actually around this time of the year in 1972.

 

Did you die?

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2 minutes ago, Marcel said:

I can remember this one time.... A female customer came knocking on my door... To put in perspective.. I've been know to flirt with the lady's... I guess my fermone were to potent that day... She stopped at the shop the fallowing day.. And I was taking a floater from work she knew where I lived and my vehicle... The problem was I was living with someone at the time.. Thank God she wasn't home.. I didn't answer the door bell....She still comes to the shop but I did tell her I was seeing someone few days later...It's nothing personal.. If a lady flirts with me I'm happy to fallow around... It's part of the game... 

Is this back when you were a toilet repair engineer?

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13 minutes ago, Marcel said:

I can remember this one time.... A female customer came knocking on my door... To put in perspective.. I've been know to flirt with the lady's... I guess my fermone were to potent that day... She stopped at the shop the fallowing day.. And I was taking a floater from work she knew where I lived and my vehicle... The problem was I was living with someone at the time.. Thank God she wasn't home.. I didn't answer the door bell....She still comes to the shop but I did tell her I was seeing someone few days later...It's nothing personal.. If a lady flirts with me I'm happy to fallow around... It's part of the game... 

 

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1 minute ago, Marcel said:

I can definitely change out a toilet...piece of cake.. 

I don't think replacing a toilet with a pece of cake is going to improve things much Marcel.

People would go for a dump and instead of a pan there's a slice of strawberry gateaux!

That's no help if you're about to drop your fucking guts!

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5 minutes ago, Marcel said:

I can definitely change out a toilet...piece of cake.. 

How often did you take a floater and what did you do with them?

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