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Stupid life stories, share the shame!


Tym

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I;ll start, i got a job with the US defense department when i was 17. So i went to work, they told me even the lowest private out-ranked me. Not like i cared i could quit at any time, the private couldnt...lol Butt Privates, (funny, thats what most were) at the time were mentally deficient types thankful the military gave them the only freaking chance they ever would have to get a pension paying gig. So one day, a full Bird Col comes in with a big research thing about hyperbaric chambers could cure infections?. Everyone is on their toes! I couldnt give a chit, the Col was my father...lol I just dint tell anyone. So one private just happens to criticize my work in front of the Col. No big deal until he walks away and tells the master sergeant in charge of everything, that's my son that private was talking about....For the rest of my contract i could do no wrong...LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLL!!!

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Somewhere around the mid 80's I walked into the foyer of Dudley Leisure Centre bollocks naked because I went through the wrong door.

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1 hour ago, XTreme said:

I got locked in the womens' toilets at Strensham Service area about 30 years ago.

There's got to be more to that story than that ?

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2 hours ago, XTreme said:

I got locked in the womens' toilets at Strensham Service area about 30 years ago.

You've always been ahead of your time Pete

old-ugly-tranny.jpeg.b756070ea06f83b6f37ea9636d98ea40.jpeg

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Around 74ish a kid I knew from school (named Butcher, who we all called Butch) picked me up in his mini-van. I was blind drunk, so he put me in the back thinking I might puke up. Unfortunately the back doors were not fastened fully and when he pulled away a bit too sharpish I rolled out the back and onto the road. There I was with my long hair hair sitting in the middle of the road shouting, 'Butch, Butch'.

Thinking back that kid was a psycho and was probably laughing his arse off at pulling that one off.

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Im impressed he can remember anything at 74, im just in my 60's and what i had for dinner last night is a mystery. 

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Me and my mate picked up 2 slags in another guy's Anglia Van Xmas Eve 1972.

Going round remote lanes trying to find a place to park up and I overturned the van......while my mate was getting it on with one of them in the back.

We had to get a mobile crane out on Xmas Day to rescue the van!

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On 02/05/2020 at 09:12, XTreme said:

I got locked in the womens' toilets at Strensham Service area about 30 years ago.

Oh dear what can the matter be?

A ginger Taf locked in the lavatory.....

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13 minutes ago, yen_powell said:

Oh dear what can the matter be?

A ginger Taf locked in the lavatory.....

The old smilies are back Yen.......hence.....

:twat::twat::twat:

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1 minute ago, Renegade said:

:littleguy::twat::banana121or::wank4az: I can post again now the proper smilies are back.  :wave::dancebanana:

I had a feeling that your vocabulary would be somewhat limited without them Phil! :classic_laugh:

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Well, that either worked great because she got euphoric to be alive, or terrible if she thinks you almost got her killed.

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I drove a Fiat 850 Sport Coupe from Droitwich in the Midlands to Swansea in 1973.

Overnight.

With no lights.

Managed to put it on it's side in a ditch en-route as well.

The good old days! :classic_cool:

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Just remindered me, got bet I couldn't"t drink a bottle of whiskey, I was in my teens too. I drank it, woke up 4 hours later in someones front garden.
Apparently I tried to fight everyone so they pushed me over this garden wall and left me there.
Felt rough for days.

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First time I drank whiskey was on the lower deck of a school trip bus when I was 15, downed half a bottle of something like it was nothing. I then proceeded to throw up on a paper basket (a weave paper basket) while I walked around the bus.

 

 

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See this picture, this the Baia de Espinho, my hometown:

823997.jpg?k=5073e11e5ba8f510a6d74ea46aa

Espinho - Praia da Baia à noite

 

I never go to the beach in this spot because it's too crowded. Nowadays, if you walk the walkways at night you have a nice view of the beach, courtesy of some spotlights, like on the picture above. These spotlights were first turned on (first time, ever) around 18 or 19 years ago, at around 10 or 11pm on a summer friday night, while me and my girlfriend were getting out of the water, naked. Made it easier to find our clothes, though.

Edit: it's the Atlantic, cold water

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8 hours ago, BusBoy said:

You two are the kind that stand in the stadium when Wales vs England rugby  run onto the pitch for their national anthem and then mouth the words in case anybody should hear you.

?

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I was working in Essex in 2011ish and got woken by the hotel fire alarm in the early hours. Got out of bed still pissed to see what was going on and found myself in the corridor outside my room with a locked door and bollock naked while the hotel was being evacuated the drunken twat i shared a room with didn't wake up for the fire alarm or my frantic shouting and banging on the door for what seamed like forever.

A couple of weeks later same room on my own this time got up for a piss  in the early hours and again found myself in the corridor outside my room with a locked door and bollock naked again. this time i had to take the lift to the reception to get another key i'd like to think the girl at reception was laughing at my predicament not my winky ?

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