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Showing content with the highest reputation since 21/08/26 in Posts
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6 points
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6 points
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A man who was driving a car with his wife was stopped by a police officer. The following exchange took place. The man says, "What's the problem, officer?" Officer: "You were going at least 75 in a 55 zone." Man: "No sir, I was going 65." Wife: "Oh, Harry. You were going 80." (The man gave his wife a dirty look.) Officer: "I'm also going to give you a ticket for your broken taillight. " Man: "Broken taillight? I didn't know about a broken taillight!" Wife: "Oh Harry, you've known about that taillight for weeks." (The man gave his wife another dirty look.) Officer: "I'm also going to give you a citation for not wearing your seat belt." Man: "Oh, I just took it off when you were walking up to the car." Wife: "Oh Harry, you never wear your seat belt." The man turned to his wife and yelled, "SHUT YOUR MOUTH!" The officer turned to the woman and asked, "Ma'am, does your husband talk to you this way all the time?" The wife said, "No, only when he's drunk!"5 points
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A Jewish daughter says to her mother.. ..... "I'm divorcing Nathan." All he wants is sex, sex and more sex. My vagina is now the size of a 50-cent piece when it used to be the size of a 5 cent piece." Her mother says ..... "You're married to a multi-millionaire businessman, You live in an 8 bedroom mansion You drive a $250,000 Ferrari, You get $2,000 a week allowance, You take 6 vacations a year and You want to throw all that away... Over 45 cents..?"4 points
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You better disregard the baiting, and in case of Marcel you’re debating MAGA. Better break out the sticks and stones, if you’re expecting him to understand you.4 points
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Seems like yesterday, the memory has never faded on this one, @zzzak and his buddies will be in meltdown today, if he is still alive.4 points
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A young man with his pants hanging half off his ass, two gold front teeth & a half inch thick gold chain around his neck, walked into the local welfare office to pick up his cheque He marched up to the counter and said, "Hi. You know, I just HATE drawing welfare. I'd really rather have a job, I don't like taking advantage of the System, getting something for nothing." The social worker behind the counter said "Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful daughter. You'll have to drive around in his 2018 Mercedes-Benz CL & he will supply all of your clothes." "Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll also be expected to escort the daughter on her overseas holiday trips. This is rather awkward but you will also have to satisfy her sexual urges as the daughter is in her 20's and has a strong sex drive. The guy, wide-eyed, said,"You're bullshittin' me???" The social worker said, "Yeah, well . . . you started it.4 points
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Spent the morning sorting Shadows bike. New JT chain and sprockets and front brake pads. Took longer cleaning everything than actually fitting the parts. Her response was thanks Dad can you lend me £120 to fix my phone. It never ends . Also noticed she has hit 18,000 miles in 2 years. She is talking about taking her A2 in November but we shall see.4 points
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That’s how trade tariff wars work, it’s bullshit to people who want to buy something. But on the other hand, Marcel’s bike is going to gain value. The KTM because it’s a classic, not the other one with the cracked castings.4 points
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Jane always had a certain attraction to Tarzan. So during her questions about his life, she asked him how he had sex. “Tarzan not know what is sex” he replied. Jane then explained to him what sex was. Tarzan said ….“Tarzan use knot hole in trunk of tree.” Stunned by his response, Jane said: “Tarzan you have it all wrong, you don’t shag a tree to get yourself off. Tell you what, I will show you how to do it properly.” She took off her clothing and laid down on the ground. “Here” she said, pointing to her privates,“you must put it in here.” Tarzan removed his loin cloth, showing Jane his considerable manhood, stepped closer to her and kicked her as hard as he could in the crotch. Jane rolled around in agony for what seemed like an eternity. Eventually she managed to grasp for air and screamed: “What the bloody hell did you do that for? “Check for squirrel.” he responds4 points
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Two couples were playing poker one evening. Jim accidentally dropped some cards on the floor. When he bent down under the table to pick them up, he noticed Les's wife, Sue, wasn't wearing any underwear under her dress! Shocked by this, Jim upon trying to sit back up again, hit his head on the table and emerged red-faced. Later, Jim went to the kitchen to get some refreshments. Les's wife followed and asked, 'Did you see anything that you like under there?' Surprised by her boldness, Jim admitted that, well indeed he did. She said, 'Well, you can have it but it will cost you £200.' After taking a minute or two to assess the financial and moral costs of this offer, Jim confirms that he is interested. Sue told him that since her husband Les played golf Friday afternoons and Jim didn't, Jim should be at her house around 2pm next Friday afternoon. When Friday rolled around, Jim showed up at Les's house at 2pm sharp and after paying Sue the agreed sum of £200, they went to the bedroom, and closed their transaction, as agreed. Jim quickly dressed and left. As usual, Les came home from golf at 6pm and upon arriving, asked his wife, 'Did Jim come by the house this afternoon?' With a lump in her throat Sue answered 'Why yes, he did stop by for a few minutes this afternoon.' Her heart nearly skipped a beat when her husband further enquired, 'and did he give you £200?' Sue, using her best poker face, replied, 'Well, yes, in fact he did give me £200. Les, with a satisfied look on his face, surprised his wife by saying, 'He came by the golf club this morning and borrowed £200 from me. He promised he'd stop by our house this afternoon on his way home and pay me back.' Now THAT, my friends, is a poker player4 points
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Just bought a BMW S1000R ( used) which is certainly fun to ride. I need some bar risers to raise the bars a little as the riding position is a bit far forward for me. Lovely engine… Also looked at the XR too which looked nice, just not sure I’m ready for a bike with luggage just yet. Maybe next time. Lots of instructions to read …4 points
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They don’t, except if you go luxury really. I don’t care, though, and 28 hours sounds like hell sitting on a chair. The cabins are spacious if you only use one bed, I had a lovely trip coming here. Way better than the one me and Sofia had going from Santander to Plymouth. Also, get one with a window, made it really enjoyable! Big difference, between using the trip to come out of the boat fresh and rested compared to broken.3 points
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My last night in Cork tonight, but this is definitely my vibe! Tomorrow will be leaving my friends here to sleep near Rosslare, and the following morning hopping on the ferry to Spain. The plan now is to barely put a foot down in Spain and head straight to Portugal for dinner with @Sofia3 points
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Rode down to Lanner this morning with my mate Steve who obviously has money burning a hole in his pocket. He only bought his CBF about three weeks ago, last Friday he impulse bought a Guzzi V85 TT. Very nice it is to. Done 9,000 miles. Some nice bikes out the back. Also loads of nice stuff in the show room. Pricing wasn’t bad either. Especially liked this new all black Z900RS. Home made drain cover made me smile. On the way home popped into Dameralls for a cup of tea as we were riding past. Did about 90 miles bimbling about. Not a bad way to spend a Tuesday3 points
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Fuck sake Marcel, get a grip. Pretty sure many of us enjoyed the Sturgis thread, I did.3 points
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Just fitted a starter for a mate on his 2006 Kangoo. There's a reason I hate French cars and this bum hole has added to that hate.3 points
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Didn’t expect that ! Thanks all, I’ll have to work on my acceptance speech3 points
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Judging by that fender & wheel....& WHO posted this...it's probably an Injun...2 points
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