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When my leg was amputated and I was in intensive care they gave me a morphine pump , it was the worst experience of my life . It just made it clear to me that taking drugs for recreational purposes was never going to happen for me, we're all different I suppose but I just can't get my head around why anyone would do that.

its never to late ..

I have never taken any recreational drugs in my life, does alcohol and nicotine count?

mrs suggested we spice things up and played doctors and nurses so i put her on a trolley in the hallway and ignored her for 16 hours

Twat

There a special gun to shoot me with !!

You can also say ANY Bob Dylan song done by somebody else! I remember when Ferry's version came out in 73.....all us Greasers used to pile in the Westbourne pub! And Thursday night TOTP was on the TV. There were also a load of spaced out Hippies there as well. Anyway this song came on and as it finished one of the Hippies (completely off his head on LSD or some such shit) stood up and said....."Man.....that Brian Ferry really knows what he's singing about". So one of the boys shouted across "Well he's the only fucking one that does then".

At least he hasn’t got a shit bike.

Otis Reddings song done by Aretha. A bit unfair cos who didn’t she out canary?!

Can you believe it? I got out for an hour! 18C and blue skies! Stopped at my boy's place on the way back......phoned him from outside and said bring Jake out but don't tell him I'm here! So I put my helmet back on......Jake comes out and just looks over sheepishly. I then take my helmet off and he sees it's me, so he runs over shouting Grandad and gives me a cwtch. Priceless moments after 4 years separation!

Maybe i can help stop it seizing up until he has it

Is Mother Nature Polish for $20 Alex. I almost forgot my "i love lutefisk" look to seduce polish wominz with.

There is a fly in the ointment , I've just gone in the loft and realised that I sold the tank a couple of years ago On the bright side, the o/e plastics are still like new.

Sounds like an elephant gun is going to be more useful