Paddy takes his mates back to see his new flat, and after a few more beers one of the lads asks him whats the big brass gong hanging on the wall, Paddy says, "Its my speaking clock"!
"How does it work?" his mate asks.
"I'll show you", and Paddy hits it full pelt with a claw hammer,
A voice from next door yells"Ffs it’s twenty to three in the morning!!"