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Greater Manchester Police have reported finding a man's body in the River Irwell at Old Trafford. The dead man's name will not be released until his family have identified the body. The victim apparently drowned due to excessive marijuana consumption. He was wearing black fishnet stockings, a red garter belt, a pink G-string, a strap-on dildo, purple lipstick, and a Harley Davidson T-shirt he also had a large cucumber inserted in his rectum. The police have removed the Harley Davidson T-shirt to spare his family any unnecessary embarrassment. In spite of what we sometimes think... The Police do care...

Four friends spend weeks planning the perfect girls' getaway trip, shopping, casinos, massages, and facials. Two days before the group is to leave Mary's husband puts his foot down and tells her she isn't going. Mary's friends are very upset that she can't go, but what can they do? Two days later the three get to the hotel only to find Mary sitting in the bar drinking a glass of wine. "Wow, how long have you been here, and how did you talk your husband into letting you go?" "Well, I've been here since last night... Yesterday evening I was sitting on the couch and my husband came up behind me and put his hands over my eyes and said ‘Guess who'?" I pulled his hands off to find all he was wearing was his birthday suit. He took my hand and lead me to our bedroom. The room was scented with perfume, had two dozen candles and rose petals all over... On the bed, he had handcuffs and ropes! He told me to tie and cuff him to the bed, so I did. And then he said, "Now, you can do whatever you want. So here I am."

Triumph?

Just been and had the bikes out and run up. Tracer started first touch of the button, TDM needed help from the battery charger and he dominator, are the nx650. Took a bit of winding before it burst into life, then piss petrol out through the overflow again. I also noticed a leaking fork seal which pissed me right off as the stations were re-chromed and assembled with new seals and oil. Gonna try the seal saver if I can find it before taking a big hammer to that basted carb. I used some anger energy to have a good sweep/clear up too.