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Slowlycatchymonkey

By Slowlycatchymonkey
in GENERAL CHAT

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Renegade

Renegade

Posted
Posted

A Guy with a 25-inch Willy went to a Doctor and said,

"I can't live with this Big Willy anymore..! It's too long."

The doctor replied, "I can't do anything for you, but if you see the Witch Doctor, down in the Bayou, she can help you."

So, he went to the Bayou and saw the Witch Doctor.

The Witch Doctor said, "Go into the Swamp and find a Female Frog.

"Ask her to Marry You. She'll say "NO", and you'll lose 5 inches off your Member immediately".

So, he went to the Swamp and found the Female Frog and asked her, "Will you marry me"..??? "NO", she said.

And right enough, he lost 5 inches off his Member.

The Guy liked the results, and thought, 20 inches is still just a little too much.

So he asked the Frog again, "Will You Marry Me"..??? The Frog said,

"NO". And the Guy lost another 5 inches.

He thought, Good, 15 inches is great, but 10 inches would just be perfect.

So he asked her again, "Will You Marry Me"..???

And the Frog said,

*

"How many times do I have to tell you.. NO..! NO..! NO...!"

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Renegade

Renegade

Posted
Posted

A man walks into a bar, notices a very large jar on the counter and sees that it's filled to the brim with $10 bills.

He guesses there must be at least ten thousand dollars in it. He approaches the bartender and asks, "What's with the money in the jar?"

"Well..., you pay $10, and if you pass three tests, you get all the money in the jar and the keys to a brand new Lexus"

The man certainly isn't going to pass this up, so he asks, "What are the three tests?"

"You gotta pay first," says the bartender, "those are the rules."

So, after thinking it over a while, the man gives the bartender $10 which he stuffs into the jar.

"Okay," says the bartender, "here's what you need to do:

First - You have to drink a whole quart of tequila, in 60 seconds or less, and you can't make a face while doing it."

"Second - There's a pit bull chained in the back with a bad tooth. You have to remove that tooth with your bare hands."

"Third - There's a 90-year old lady upstairs who's never had sex. You have to take care of that problem."

The man is stunned! "I know I paid my $10 -- but I'm not an idiot! I won't do it! You'd have to be nuts to drink a quart of tequila and then do all those other things!"

"Your call," says the bartender, "but, your money stays where it is."

As time goes on, the man has a few more drinks and finally says, "Where's the damn tequila?!"

He grabs the bottle with both hands and drinks it as fast as he can.

Tears stream down both cheeks -- but he doesn't make a face -- and he drinks it in 58 seconds!

Next, he staggers out the back door where he sees the pit bull chained to a pole.

Soon, the people inside the bar hear loud growling, screaming, and sounds of a terrible fight -- then nothing but silence!

Just when they think that the man surely must be dead, he staggers back into the bar.

His clothes are ripped to shreds and he's bleeding from bites and gashes all over his body.

He drunkenly says, "Now..., where's that old woman with the bad tooth?”

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