Skippy

I’d be happy to settle for ugly in her case

He might have made it around the bend if the idiot hadn’t tugged the front brake, you can see the bike snap to a halt and the front dips suddenly causing him to lose balance.

Well I hope he’s not pregnant

Let me know when you’re fit mate and I’ll pop up.

Born ready

Ha ha I was thinking just the same. There’s a lot of fun to be had on a golf course

If that’s aimed at me you can fuck right off because I’m a pirate agggrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

A bit of this with like-minded reprobates. A team game and we came third…………but no cigar

To be honest mate I’ve resisted so far but my missus looked at me this morning and said in a voice that wasn’t to be questioned, “I think we should put the Xmas decorations up today, what do you think?”…….it was most definitely a rhetorical question. Our house is like Santa’s Grotto now.

Fucking cunts need to be taught a lesson. Some people shouldn’t have animals.

I put the bag full of wrapping paper etc on the floor for a minute and whoosh, she’s in there like a shot. She’s never been destructive in the least but she cannot resist wrapping paper……….and that’s a guilty face if ever I’ve seen one.

Clearly built for comfort, not for speed and there’s nothing wrong with that

Just had this text message from a mate if mine who was travelling home from a night out in London last night…… “had superb journey home on the train. full of tottenham supporters drunk as fuck, some american girl kept whining that one of them was in her words “pushing his penis too near her face” not surprising as it was crammed like a auschwitz carriage , she went on and on about it and they kept saying there’s no room to move and stand up if it’s a problem when we got to Harrow they picked her up and took off the train with them and dumped her on platform. she was screaming like a banshee as the train set off.”

Is it mostly in the morning? Just wondering if you really are a miracle of science.

Pete will need the whole batch the big Welsh tart.

These will help with the latter.

The Ginger Minger has definitely had his cock off.

Finally I’ve managed to get a good one for my OnlyFans page so I thought I’d share it here too.

He’s had gender realignment, now wants to be called Mavis.

I’ve been trying to take a selfie for ages but can’t get a good one. I asked my missus and she just shook her head and told me to fucking grow up. Where’s a mate when you need one?

Well I’ve managed to knock out a crown so I’ve now got a gaping hole in my top set of teeth but because I’d had root canal originally it’s doesn’t hurt. I look more like a pirate now so I might just leave the gap.

It does tend to ruin a perfectly nice walk in the countryside.