Skippy

Take some semen too……..you won’t need it for the tests but you never know who you might bump into

Log burner mate………it’s very therapeutic cutting up logs with a chainsaw, stacking them and then making a fire up. Proper hunter gatherer stuff rather than an effeminate pellet burner.

Fingers crossed mate, I’m sure there will be tales to tell and photographic evidence

Sorted a trip up to the north east of Spain for mid November so fingers crossed the weather is reasonable. Clearly it won’t be as good as down here but a chance to meet up with UK based mates was too much to resist. Leaving on Thursday 16 November and heading to Lleida which is a fair old slog of about 650 klms if I avoid all motorways. Might use some motorway to kill a bit of distance first thing. On the Friday head across to Platja d’Aro for the Costa Brava classic two day trials event and three nights fun and games with my mates………Monday morning leave ‘kin early and head home, possibly in one hit……depending on the weather.

He must be a unicorn then?

My lips are sealed……………..hers, on the other hand, weren’t I know I’m being very blasé about it but it was a really stupid thing to do and I did regret it.

At 12 I was looking for a pub where I could get served……..took me 3 years but worth it.

Are you mad? Confess on here?………..oh go on then……..she had a really good mate called Susan

I was 17 years old and riding two things; a Suzuki GT250 and Debbie Jackson. She was my childhood sweetheart and I fancied her even at infants school………we ended up buying a place together when we were 21 and planning to get married. Then I fucked that up. What a twat………

If we play like that against France or South Africa, I can’t see us winning. Nearly threw it away, but I think on balance we just about deserved it.

Chuffed the All Blacks held on…….funny to see Sexton throw his toys out of the pram at the end. Didn’t catch who he was effing at.

Fucking oxygen thieves, shame you didn’t find them.

………..it never lasts that long

I’ve had a few…….and sold them all when tempted by some other two-wheeled floozie.

Probably a build up of fumes from his slicked back hair.

It was that hipster’s car

Did you will see the news about the big fire at Luton Airport? It happened the night I got there. I got there at 8 pm, and the fire was reported at 9 pm. Just a coincidence.

There’s no chance of that happening

Not sure, at least his beard has a purpose in that it hides part of his face

I like your style but with me the more I drink the less likely I am to slap anyone……..mind you, I can make exceptions for hipsters coz they really grip my shit

Look what I found in Marks and Spencer’s……..3 for £8 was a bargain.

You can’t beat some liquor

The Jews have turned up, I’m sure I heard him bartering over the price of the coffee.

Ah crap, her hipster boyfriend has just turned up…….about half my age with a trendy beard. Wanker.…………oh well, time to read my book and stop kidding myself

On my way back to Spain…….well I will be at 0610 in the morning so for now I’m plotted up at the airport. I have a bag that needs to go into the hold so I can’t check-in until about 4am which means I can’t go through security to where the bars are…….no, I’m stuck with coffee shops instead. Schoolboy error. The upside is that there’s a stunningly beautiful woman a few metres away and she definitely has all the moves. Swished across the coffee shop with coffee in hand, I swear she just glided a few centimetres above the floor. I wonder if I could impress her with my best chat-up lines? I reckon she’d be impressed