Skippy

Working on it

Not now

Staying at a mates place in Sunningdale for a couple of nights while him and his missus go to their apartment on Lake Como. Long story short is that his wife booked a surprise flight for them to go away for a week but he forgot to tell her I was coming over so now I’ve got the run of a very swanky house that’s filled with toys, food and booze; Jaguar E-Pace Triumph Bobber Honda VFR400 ………and a hoofing eMBT that I took out for an hour this afternoon across Chobham Common. Holy crap I NEED one of these. Oh, and their cute dog that loves beer and rugby. One of their daughters dropped her off for tonight as she’s going out. If they’re neighbours clock me they’ll call the police and report a burglary in progress!

Another early start to look after my old man has lead to another posh coffee. Sitting there enjoying my skinny latte capuchin monstrosity when some bloke in an enormous 4x4 tries to reverse into one of the parking slots outside but his wank wagon is too long and wide so he takes up two spaces and ends up having to reverse up onto the pavement to stop the front hanging out into the busy high street. If that wasn’t funny enough some old dear with a tartan shopping bag on wheels rips right into him and tells him he’s “an ignorant, selfish boy” and that he should move it. The bloke must be in his forties but he is so embarrassed he gets back in and drives off! No posh coffee for you matey.

That’s it, you need red carding. Bullying should not be tolerated on here.

………..nobody else on here was alive in 1948……only you.

The country as a place is fine and even the climate is just about tolerable. It’s the pond life that inhabit it and seem to be spreading like a disease that I have an issue with. A perfect example is the able-bodied bloke that just went past on a mobility scooter as proud as anything. Parked outside a shop and leapt off it like an athlete. Fucking oxygen thief.

I like sharing my pain, anger and stress with you lot. It’s like a deep clean of the soul. Just taking my old dad for his Covid and flu jabs. God help me.

I only planned on eating it, not sticking my cock in it. Mind you, now it’s a bit quieter…………

And another thing………people that wear flip flops with white socks and jogging pants pulled up to their knees. You don’t look cool, you look like the cunt you are. I shouldn’t come back to the UK, it pisses me off.

Went into Costa Coffee just now waiting for the post office to open. Bloke in the queue before me says in his faux London accent “can I GET a skinny flat white mocha-chino”………… no you fucking poser, you can GET fucked. Then the cheeky girl behind the counter questions my choice of breakfast! It’s my holiday and if want a cinnamon pastry with my coffee I will.

I can confirm no bumming took place but I am still waiting for my luggage.

Hate it with a passion

Well that hasn’t started positively. Got in the queue to check in hold luggage and when it opened they decided to change the desk to the one next to me so I ended up at the back of the queue. No issue really until they then decide that the original desk number was in fact correct so we all trudge back and now I’m at the back of the back of the fucking queue. Fast forward 30 mins and now I get pulled over at the security point for a random check. Everyone stares as if I’m a criminal and the security guard is clearly on a power trip. Cunt. At least I haven’t been bummed. Yet.

At the airport waiting to fly to the UK with the rest of the mongs.

Yeah but they’re not for hire on their own, they come as part of a guided tour and accommodation.

Or ride your bike down here? The best option I reckon.

You can’t help yourself can you?

I’ve contacted him and he’s out on the T7’s today so he’ll get back to me asap with prices, options etc. Standby.

Remember Pete that you can delegate a task but not abdicate the responsibility for it………you work-shy cnut.

Just to be clear though, he doesn’t just hire the bikes out. He provides guided tours and he is one hell of a rider and knows the area like the back of his hand.

I can do that, no problem. He’s also got on site accommodation and a fantastic set up (bar, massive pool, great food).

You’ve got a point there, in fact lots of valid points. Mind you, imagine his little Welsh ginger boat race when a gaggle of forum members turn up. If he wants to run with the big dogs he needs to learn to piss high!

C’mon folks, how hard could it be to organise a trip down here? I know @XTreme is always taking the piss about you lot not being able to hack it but just think what a ticking great laugh it would be to ride down, set up camp somewhere for a few days and ride out each day. Tarmac or trails, the choice would be yours. Over to Pete now to coordinate it for next year.

That’s because you take it out after every ride, wash and polish it, wrap it in cotton wool and kiss it goodnight. I bet you put it right next to your cosseted downpipes.