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She runs like a honda now! Part of Tomos ownership is conversion to Orthodox Monotheism, as one needs the intervention of Virgins from time to time, who doesnt to be honest After that i took her to the beach were she could frolick naked. Little know factoid, Trailer and Tomos start with a T!

??? Bagheera takes the win, I will tell him later as he is still waking up. Cool cool.....I will send a pic later today @XTreme First things first....HAPPY DANCE TIME, take it away Fred and Ginger....

What a fantastic location to enjoy a couple of drinks What a great photo and what a smoothie you are This guy is so obviously a mate of Pete, just look at his dress code ?

I really enjoyed going through all the thousands of pictures to post these reports, although I would rather I had thousands more to just keep going. Maybe editing a video or two in a few weeks or days would be a good idea, maybe once I learn how to do it, although to be honest video with voices is something pretty hard for me to do without falling apart. I have to do it properly alone, though, can't have my dog lifting his ears everytime Maria speaks in a Video as it breaks my heart. Assuming the Covid situation is handled next year, I will visit Morocco by myself in 2021. It'll be extra hard because on top of going without her, it was in Tangier that I lost Maria in 2018. But, if it's the same as posting these reports, it'll be tough but at the same time feel familiar. We'll see.

He came home the night before and found a spare bolt in his trouser turn up. He's trying to see where it should have gone with his torch.

So, following 2015's trip in which my lovely blue and white R1150GS was brought home on a truck from Morocco, I decided I needed to change bikes. I won't lie and say part of me wished to do it again on the 1150, but later on I was proven right in my decision to change. The guy who bought that bike from the dealer eventually had a lot of issues with it, with a gearbox needing rebuilding and the diff also acting up. Both of these issues would have probable come up on the same trip I was doing according to his mileage. After our return in 2014 I had made up my mind in choosing between two bikes, a Super Tenere and an R1200GSA, I gave the Super Tenere a chance because I really felt it to be the better choice from a mechanical point of view, but we both felt so much more comfortable aboard the BMW that it wasn´t really a choice. The BMW is just the better bike for carrying two people over rough roads. On the 16th January 2016 I picked up my brand new R1200GSA, and turned my R1150GS in at the same time. See if you can't tell my mixed feelings handing her in from the picture, I did love that bike. I did enjoy the sound the new bike made on cold starts on cold days, I think that shows as well. Maria was with me, and this is as much her bike as it is mine, it was bought with two up touring in mind. Anyway, during 2016 we used it a little to break in and test her out in Portugal. Went to the Algarve in the summer, did what we did. We were both impressed at how easier it handled mostly when loaded, and when going over rough ground. A day or two before leaving for Morocco I fitted a pair of Heidenau K60 on it, and we were ready to go. On the 8th of October 2016, we leave our home near Lisbon heading straight to Tarifa, plan was to take advantage of the great weather and sleep somewhere south of Tangier that same day, no problem regarding doing the miles as we were leaving with plenty of time. As always, I fill up on our local petrol station at little past 09:30 and heading South Thing is, the weather was so good, and I felt worn out from the previous days of work stress. By the time we made it to the Algarve, only two and a half hours after leaving home, the weather is getting warm like and the sun is warming us. I decide to tempt Maria with a grilled fish lunch and a trip to the beach. She didn't take much convincing and the rest of the day was spent in this fashion: We had already been to Morocco, there was no stress or hurry to do anything, this trip was all about enjoying life and this is what we were doing, that was a great day. The next day we were on the road quite early, feeling fresh and eager. Crossing into Spain It's always windy near Tarifa, I think it must be kitesurfing capital or something, judging by the number of kites flying By 12:30 Portugues time we were already boarding the Ferry Doing this for the third time we had it all under control, as I was tending to the bike being secured properly, Maria went to get a front place in the immigration office, we were finished 10 minutes after the boat left, feeling like seasoned travelers amongst amateurs. Customs in Morocco were being fast and efficient, no worries, so I strike a pose ? As we exit the harbor into Tanger centre, everything looks cleaner than before, maybe it's just us but actually the entire place had been freshened up. Not the case with these buildings, though. We are remembered it's a Sunday because the cellphone shop is closed. So just get some money from an ATM and move on. Maria worked for BNP so we used one of their machines, cause we're cool people like that. Decided to head to Chefchaouen and try to sleep there, there's a hotel we had checked the day before with a nice rate on booking and we were just going to show up. Traffic was quite heavy for whatever reason and plenty of speed controls. Some bikers complain about cops in Morocco, but I've always found them to be very nice and professional. I've clearly been caught a little over the limit and let go just for being a foreigner, but I suppose if you really treat their country like a trackday they might feel like you deserve a squeeze. By the time we reach our hotel it's getting to be late afternoon, but still time to enjoy a drink or a swimming pool. Getting in we notice a group of bikes with eastern european plates, and one R1200GSA with a portuguese plate, carrying three full metal cases on the back. Checking in we were refused the rate we had seen on booking.com, so instead we just logged into their wifi, checked in via booking and 15 seconds later were given a room key and a smile. Go figure. Also while checking in we strike a conversation with Rui Piçarra, Rui was riding the portuguese bike upfront, and lives 20km away from my parents. We instantly hit it off and decide to join for dinner. After a swim, it quickly start getting colder (it is October after all) so we make haste in search of food. I enjoy my first BEER in Morocco before dinner! It's not shit, either. The reason I picked this hotel, the view: Being as he was, Rui shows up after we've eaten, and we start talking. He decided to come on this trip by himself a couple of days before, and is carrying a map printed on an A4 piece of paper , Not camping, he is packing all of his three metal cases for a little over a week by himself while me and Maria are packing two Vario sidecars in the smaller position for two weeks. Rui is packing four bottles of booze though We tell him where we would be sleeping the next day, if he shows up at our hotel in Fez we'd meet for dinner.

So, staying at my parents' home, yesterday I get home and there's this guy standing in the street, check this out:

Without wishing to sound like Vinnie Jones in that gangster film, because he's strange and called Dave. Bob knows him, he's one sandwich short of a picnic most of the time.

Meanwhile in Spain........

How very dare you! I'm no mediterranean, I'm from northern Portugal!

Did you know, @Tym, that some Harley riders wire their trailer or their car to their bike´s odometer so that it counts miles being trailered to events as well? There you go!

That could be a hell of a Ride (Trailer) Report.......particularly if you posted it on ButtRider as well! We could then sit back and watch them lose their shit over it!

So you put it in a Trailer and drove it round to get photos? @Grasshopper's Ride.........have I ever mentioned.....

Throw your underkaks in the furnace, it will be like turbo charging the generator adding all that methane to the mix.

Can i shoot the runner up? Lemons into lemonaide sort of thing, i love to shoot at crap.

Bloody brilliant. Not somewhere I need to go but you could change my mind. Now get to bed.

Breakfast was very nice, I mostly ate fruit trying to anticipate a warm day. We planned to going south to Tan Tan, checking it out, have a coffee, and ride back to Guelmim and stay back in the same hotel. Tan Tan was only 100km away so we could have gone further down, but I think that from here on south you're only really going if you want to continue heading to Mauritania, or at least to the border. We were both a little tired so could use an easy day with some rest in the afternoon. As we left for Tan Tan it was pretty foggy, but we assumed it would clear quite soon, we did almost the entire trip there under wet fog, our rain gear was at the hotel in the luggage. The road between Guelmim and Tan Tan has got a lot of three things: fish smell, slow moving, and traffic going further south to Africa. The fish smell comes out of nowhere next to some clearings by the side of the road where trucks carrying fish from Tan Tan's harbor empty their unfrozen ice, then the sun cooks that and the remaining smell is interesting because there is no ocean to be seen. Slow moving Land Rovers on old worn out leaf springs, carrying cargo or passengers at 60kmh, trudging along at a pace of a time gone past, driver patiently waiting out the trip in a car with no space for his elbow with a window that only slides open halfway in a car that is passed by every big truck, in over 40ºC heat, bless them! Here you see cars and trucks with license plates that I had never seen before, heading south to Mauritanica, Senegal, etc, feels exotic and something about the "body language" of these cars gives away that they know how long the trip is going to take regardless of being in a hurry or not. The fog eventually clears and we have a little bit of sunshine Tan Tan! Still pretty wet here. Nothing really noticeable about Tan Tan except that I created a little chaos by riding into the customs part of the harbor like it was a normal road. Got properly told off, and then waved by with a smile. After our coffee, which did it's job of warming us a little, we headed back for lunch at Guelmim Poulet Roti, my favourite: Little bit early after lunch, so we explored a little around the surroundings of Guelmim, and went to the beach And again, time to soak up We had dinner at the hotel and Maria ordered lasagna while trying to each something "normal", she gasped at her portion The next day, we'd have mountains again ...

In the morning we had a little but very tasty breakfast, said goodbye, and off we went in search of the Desert Let's go to Guelmim! Schools are usually the most colorful buildings you'll ever see Heading from there to Guelmim we had one of this trip's best memories. We finally felt like being close to the Sahara as I imagined from reading books, it had just gotten proper hot and I decided to stop and drink some water, when a few camels appeared, and then continued to appear, must have been over 50 all scattered into smaller herds, it was pretty great. Guelmim, perfect mix of desert frontier city with developed world, never had I seen so many old Land Rovers as here and from here on south. We got here during the afternoon having had no lunch. Very hot and sweaty, we weren't hungry but each drank a full bottle of water and a couple of very cold orange juices. Made our way to our very nice hotel, and had some more water there, after diving head first into the swimming pool. We slept in a very comfy bed, feeling like a million bucks. I was very excited to go to Tan Tan, gateway to the desert.

We needed a Steve, what luck!

So, we woke up quite early, I always feel like staying here but Maria felt like we should give other places a chance. The day before had been amazing but a little tiresome, regardless off we went heading to Tata, which was halfway to Guelmim, which was near Tan Tan. First stop was not even an hour in, for face sunscreen, she made me We had a lot of this An omelette for lunch That day was pretty tough, in the afternoon. The roads weren't very inspiring, it was pretty boring, hard, traffic was too heavy and for whatever reason I was annoyed. Eventually we didn't make it to Tata, but stopped a little before in a very small inn. After a short conversation I realize that I had been feeling like coming on this trip for a while, and there was some pressure on seeing everything we wanted before having to go back home, together with a few worries regarding work I was actually stressed out today. After a while, everything was fine, we decided to carry on and go till Tan Tan, and take our time even if that meant having to rush for two days on motorways to go home. Allowing that accumulated stress to come out instantly made me feel great, and we were ready for dinner and adventures. And the view? Our hotel was a little simple and sparse, the only one person on staff when we arrived was very hospitable and nice and the smell outside was amazing, smelled like wet desert and adventure. During dinner there was no lighting for pictures, but we ended up having one of our best Moroccan meals ever, it was about a third of a country chicken cooked with onions and preserved lemons. It was amazing, and the effort those dudes made to make us feel welcomed was surreal. We had a great night's sleep, I was exhausted.

So, waking up excited for a ride, and realizing it's not raining again is a great feeling. We put both cases on the bike and go for breakfast, I remember plenty of fruit and a big cup of coffee. From near Midelt, we left for Er-Rich ... Nothing really special about it, just a sort of outpost place surrounded by lots of space, but also very typical down to the shop style carpentry, give it a look as Maria navigates us out of there in 20 seconds after I've been ending up at the same dead end for the third time and thus started a great ride, from there to the Gorges du Todra. First stretch is as flat as flat gets My face is already dry, even though we didn't face lots of heat in this trip, so as the sun starts to come out Maria makes me stop to put sunscreen off. I take the chance to document something very weird that happens in Morocco. In medium to big towns, in a country where "nobody" drinks alcohol, there is this circle of broken beer and whiskey bottles surrounding said towns. Magic, aliens must ditch their booze bottles here. This plateau eventually leeds to the most scenic and bucolic stretch of road ever I'm so happy to be here that when one girl out of a group of kids fails to slap my hand as we ride by, I stop, backtrack, and go for a second run, everyone thought it was funny and both we and the kids got a real kick out of it, that made my day. She's wearing the red shorts/pants in this picture, just look at her smile: Backtracking and going for the second run: And this mini ninja almost took my hand off on the second run And just like that we are out of that magic little canyon/valley ... Happy days: We spot some squirrel like creature, spot it in the next three pictures: A brief stop at the canyon touristy spot, would be rude not to A short stop a few miles on just before the canyon ends and we face the heat while making a dash for the dunes, to our special place. I don't remember why, but I ended up tasting one of those leaves ... it was awful.... Quick enough, and we're there with sand under our feet! This might be repetitive, but it is an amazing place ... Most of the ride that day was from places where we had been before, to places where we had been before, and yet we were surprised at how amazing the ride was.

The group's goals for the day were to do a little motorcycling in the morning, a little lunch, some relaxation by the swimming pool, and watch the sunset on top of a dune. Good goals! Sunrise was pretty great Some light exploring to be done There's an offroad route from Merzouga to Mhamid, and I'd really like to make that route on my bike. Rui was adamant we couldn't do it, and to be honest I didn't really feel very happy about some of the soft sand sections that were bound to appear. Regardless, I went to scout for a few kms. In Portuguese, you see Rui jokingly complaining that they are suffering from the heat while I'm ok cause I've been riding for hours (I had been gone for 5 minutes) Eventually I'll try and do that route, the Vario cases might not be the smartest idea, though, and the GS is not the smartest tool for the soft parts either. As per plan, lunch was had, something about waking up early and riding bikes makes me hungry Then, onto the hotel via a souvenir shop for Rui to get something for his kids and wife. I took the chance and discreetly got something symbolic for Maria as well. I then proceeded to refresh myself and indulge in an afternoon of cold drinks and cold swimming pool. When we were up on the dunes waiting for the sunset, I did something I regret not doing sooner, which was to surprise Maria with a proposal, she said yes. This was most likely the happiest day of my life. Right before sunset the wind picked up and it seemed like a sand storm was forming, but eventually it didn't, just kicked enough dust into the air to make it not very nice to be on top of a dune. We retired to the hotel's shelter and had a delicious vegetable tajine for dinner. The greatest day!

Next day we wake up in a great mood, had a nice day of riding and relaxing, packed and went for breakfast. I had my favourite Moroccan breakfast, (several helpings of) freshly made Msemmen with honey to get me going with plenty of sweet calories We check out, pack the bike (put sidecase on) and wait for Rui , after 20 minutes he shows up, and we're ready to go. Maria is quite enjoying me being annoyed for waiting. And we're off from Fez on a very short ride to Azrou. Azrou, to visit some furry friends of mine, is a very interesting place because if you were to not notice that most people are not light skinned you could think you were in Germany or Austria, just look at the streets and houses. It's a winter resort so they probably got inspiration from similar places in Europe. Rui wasn't too comfortable with the monkeys, but I enjoy them quite a bit. And I was very happy to meet my friend from two years ago, he's a cool dude: And we're off again, through the cedar forrest, with a brief stop by the half dried lake on our way to some route Maria had in store for us And off we go again, there was a detour to a small road (small on the map) that would prove to be very nice to ride. A lot of people outside of towns still use donkeys to bring their daily water home, this is what you see a lot of kids do in the morning After the dirt road, we stop to figure out where we were and were to go next. Spirits were high after this ride, it got a little hot at times and very dusty, but there you go. We head for a cheap hotel with a promising swimming pool via a road going near a body of water. Pretty views as the sun was going down Eventually we arrived at the hotel, it looked nice outside but was the definition of run down, the back looked like Beirute in the 90s, and there were lots of rooms with open doors and broken windows, staff was very nice and friendly but clueless. Beds were clean and the bathrooms as well so all is good. Morocco has a lot of places like this, big hotels built in another era that were left without maintenance for ages, and then left to a very small staff team that is unable to keep up so they just keep the ball rolling any way they can, with lots of shortcuts. We were in good spirits, though. 50 meters in front of the hotel there was a fuel station with a cafe. For some reason, some fuel stations have these huge grand buildings for a cafe, mostly empty, here is the perfect example Rui enjoyed following us along so much that he asked if we could travel together for a few days, so we now had a new travel companion, one that unbeknown to him would be present in something really major in my life ...

We wake up earlyish, have a quick shower, and go for breakfast, this is the view over Chefchaouen First priority is to get our data card charged. Since the way we do this is to go to network shops and pay cash for it we have to wait at the Inwi shop in Chefchaouen for it to open. The dude probably enjoyed a sleep in that day, but he was extra quick after arriving, must have been almost 11 by the time we left to go and see the road that we had left on a taxi the previous year. I swear you can see how slippery this tarmac is Grass, the kind you smoke: A brief stop for some tea And some more pot Lots and lots of marijuana growing in that area. You can see that everything that is properly green after summer has been well watered and most of it is pot. Everything is very well organized, houses have nice windows and isolation, lots of people drive more or less fast pickups or SUVs, you can tell there is some kind of money but it's not like you're walking amongst drug lords, they're just farmers whose produce is not really legal and pays a little better than most. Baby donkey cuteness alert! And a brief stop for some lunch, after the place we were last stranded. After some time taking in the smells and sights of openness, we get back on it, choosing backroads to head to Fez, these roads are probably tarmac by now and soon enough, we're in Fez Fez used to be the capital of Morocco, it's a proper busy city with loads of traffic, but a lot more pleasant to get around on than chaotic Marrakesh, Casablanca or Rabat, it also gets proper hot in the summer here, maybe more so than any other major city in Morocco. We were having no excuses, having arrived at our destination swimming pool, I went straight in. We spent a good couple of hours at the swimming pool, maybe three, and were already thinking Rui wouldn't be joining us so went for a shower and to get dressed, when he texted he had just arrived. So: we left Chefchaouen later than he did, rode on cooler roads than he did, stopped way longer than he did, he rode like a maniac while I rode slowly, and yet we arrived more than two hours earlier than he did. Not surprisingly, he eagerly accepted when we invited him to tag along the next day. Not before going out to dinner and a walk around a very warm Fez The next day, I'd be riding with company for the first time and we'd go visit some monkeys!

Earlier that year we had spent my birthday in June at the Nurburgring, with @Sofia: On August we took the GS to the Algarve for some sunshine And in the meantime we did plenty of short rides on weekends, life was good even though work was pretty tough. After ending our 2016 on a high, Maria was intent on us taking a two or three year breather from Morocco and trying other kinds of trips, be it on bikes or not, but to other locations. Me? I was keener than ever on going again as soon as possible! We were getting to know the place, and feeling at ease with the people, the food, the traffic, the amazing roads, and now I had a bike I trusted to be a reliable vehicle for us, although we don't do serious offroad on it our trips do search for the smallest roads we can find and as far as roads go they're pretty tough. There is no destination that is so culturally different and makes you feel like on an Adventure, and so close and afordable to get to than Morocco. Part of me wanted to try and go alone, almost exclusively to do that offroad piste between Merzouga and Mhamid, and I knew it would be too much for my skills to do it with a passenger, as well as not fun at all for Maria. But more than that, I wanted us to go again together. I came up with the excuse that we should do it on the new bike before the warranty expired, and she let me think I conned her. I think that by late August, riding the bike through Alentejo, she started to miss it too Our goal for this trip was to revisit some of the places we loved, but also to see some of the mediterranean coast, spend a day on the Merzouga dunes again, to go as far south as Tan Tan, to cross the Atlas on a different route than before, mostly without skipping on swimming pool relaxation moments and most of all go with the flow and enjoy. All of this meant we would probable be on the longest ride we ever did, but considering that on all previous years we had spent a couple of days after returning before going back to work, we were pretty safe. The previous week a set of new Heidenau K60 were put on the bike, on friday I joyfully left my mobile with my brother, and on the 23rd of September 2017, we left Azambuja heading south. There are no pictures of me fueling the bike up that day, in fact there are a lot less pictures this year than on years previous, I guess we were more relaxed and enjoying the trip more instead of worried about the camera, you miss a few pictures but the enjoyment you get at the moment is a lot more. Our plan of getting our move on was foiled as soon as we got to the Algarve, with great September sunshine, and Maria felt like having a grilled fish lunch at her favourite place, obviously this led to some glasses of wine, the beach, going out to dinner and sleeping in Faro. Didn't take much to convince me! The plan had lasted for 3 hours ... fuck the plan!

Found this old run report (wot I wrote for our local TRF group) on an old back up portable drive, pictures are lost apart from a few on my current hard drive pasted below. This would be about 1995 I reckon. WILTING IN WILTSHIRE I was awakened bright and early in my luxury farmhouse accommodation by the sight of John P (looking rather alluring in his special edition Paddington Bear Jim Jams) sneaking into my room and swapping the kettle for his and Phil’s broken one. Strange Dave my room mate had wanted to lock the door the previous evening but I had protested for fear of people talking about us. Luckily, suspecting John would try something like this, I had already swapped them around once. The sound of cursing was just audible from the other room above David’s snoring. Remembering that our super scary landlady was expecting us downstairs for breakfast, I woke David up with my special TRF tipping a person out of bed action (taught only to high ranking Rights Of Way Officers and passed onto me by Graham). David was less alluring in his Madagascan simulated leather cod piece with optional attachments. After enjoying a FULL ENGLISH BREAKFAST (the scary landlady’s capitals) with knobs on, we adjourned to our luxury farmhouse parking area in plenty of time to begin the long drawn out starting procedure on my immaculate DR350 ( well it is underneath the mud). Half an hour later the others took pity on me and had a go at starting it. John looked scornfully down at me and did his usual electric start mime. However I had the last laugh there when he realised he’d lost his bike keys. Strange Dave loaded his rucksack up with high grade coal for his antique £60 Victorian trials bike and topped up the oil (in the running lights). By this time the rest of that fine body of men, the Essex TRF Away team, had arrived. Oh how proud they looked as they struggled to change into their bike gear inside beach towels to protect their modesty. As soon as John appeared with his keys (found in the landlady’s bedroom for some unknown reason) we started off. The first lane was a gentle climb with gentle ruts. Unfortunately everything was invisible under the four foot high grass. At the first gate certain members were a little late due to stopping for a spot of low level sight seeing. The following five mile lane encouraged some to speed up but had some alarming black coloured puddles outside a cowshed. Splash through one of these and your socks are never quite the same again, neither is the bloke immediately behind me who copped most of it in the face. The next few lanes were enjoyed under a blazing Wiltshire sun and the others looked quite happy. I couldn’t have this of course, so when we approached the ford at Stratford Tony I sent David across with his camera and blocked the entrance to the shallow side with my lavishly maintained DR350. Naturally not one of the buggers had the decency to fall off for the camera. My plans thwarted I led my cattle I mean fellow trail riders to Odstock (the place not the Bond villain) where as I stopped to open a gate my goggles (hanging loose) flicked up into my eye and neatly removed my contact lens and flung it somewhere into the beautiful local flora. I didn’t panic, I made the special TRF hand signal for stop your engines and help me look for a tiny piece of perspex in long grass. Thirty seconds later and Strange Dave strangely spotted it, gave it a brief wipe on his babygro all weather bike outfit and attempted to reinsert it into the wrong eye. One eye watering badly I bravely led the motley collection of cut throats, car mechanics and gentleman’s jazz mag producers onward to Porton Down the famous germ warfare laboratory. Fearful that we might leave them with more germs than they started with, we quickly skirted around to Old Sarum. Here I decide to introduce some culture into the other riders lives with a brief explanation of Sarum’s history. However I don’t know any, so instead we just stared at a couple wrestling in some long grass.(Why I don’t know, but we saw a lot of this type of thing. Perhaps Wiltshire couples argue a lot at the weekend.) It was at this point I started to suspect that some of the hooligans faster riders were champing at the bit. Anxious to calm these thoroughbreds before one ran into the back of me I pointed them down the byway that runs cross country to Stonehenge. This track is 40 feet wide, straight for a mile and a half and smoother than Dave’s head. It has grass on it that an old age pensioner bowling champion would be proud of. Why oh why then, 30 seconds after shouting,” run free my proud beauties, get it out of your system”, were they all picking up Derek and dusting him down. His handlebars were rather twisted, in fact John P who has had a lot of experience with boy scouts declared that they had uncannily formed a double fluted sheep shagger knot. Derek was placed back onto his machine and by crossing his arms could still use most of the controls. We all roared up towards Stonehenge on the horizon, whilst humming the theme from the High Chaparral. Nothing could stop us now I thought until I saw the amount of traffic using the A303 which was between us and Stonehenge. In the end using the force, I closed my eyes and just turned right into the traffic. Honestly the language some tourists use, you wouldn’t think they were relaxing on holiday. We passed around the edge of Stonehenge, admired the tourists, and stopped on the byway just behind the monument. “Magnificent, isn’t it,” I cried. “About time they built something else now,” says John. And he calls me a Philistine!! Standing by ancient man’s greatest achievement, I carried out Braintree man’s greatest achievement and started my bike first kick. We headed of to Yarnbury Castle , a huge Iron Age hillfort. It sits next to the byway but is surrounded by fences stopping you visiting it. The next day I spotted a Sarum to Bath milestone sitting 20 feet inside the so called private area. On that day we climbed the fence and passed through the banks and extremely deep ditch for a sit down. Dave immediately began a dried sheep dropping bombardment on those on the other side of the ditch. Realising that his missiles were falling short due to their light dehydrated state, I threw a fresh missile. This went much further but was a bit messy to hold. Luckily as run leader I had taken the precaution of using David’s glove so as not to risk sullying my map. I carefully placed it back inside his helmet without him noticing. But all that was still in the future and Dave’s gloves and helmet interior were still clean as we passed Yarnbury Castle and onto the Salisbury Plain. Here the tracks split many times and there are little or no features to navigate from. Added to this there are numerous extra tracks created by the army that aren’t even on the map. At the first three way fork I used a cunning TRF navigational aid and picked the left hand track. Eeny Meeny Miney Mo took us along the side of the army’s Hercules landing strip and into Little House on the Prairie country. Fearful of unexploded artillery shells I had intended to rely on Dave’s GPS. When he revealed that he’d forgotten the batteries I sent him in front as a punishment. We emerged safely in the village of Chitterne and Dave quickly changed his underpants, put a fresh Hoover bag onto his airbox, emptied the chalkdust out of the old one and carefully placed it in the rear wicker basket for later reuse. Perhaps I should go into greater detail about Dave’s bike. Purchased for a mere 60 notes and authenticated by Arthur Neagus shortly before his death in 1984 from beeswax poisoning, this fine example of late Victorian machinery shows not only the excellence of pre-war Japanese engineering, but also how British tinkering can really bugger it up gradually as the years pass. Dave is immensely proud of his machine and has been known to call out anyone who hints at it’s parenthood or mentions the gear change arrangement. He once let me ride it in deepest Kent by the simple act of stealing mine and riding off quickly. Unable to get out of first gear I screamed off after him shouting the name of the County we were in. He eventually stalled and as he frantically prodded at the kickstart I wrestled him off of my bike. Back in steamy Wiltshire I was finding that as I attempted to travel across Boyton Down, the old eeny meeny trick wasn’t really as good as I’d first thought. After 20 minutes of going around in circles I saw a man with no chin in the middle of nowhere. I stopped and asked if he knew where he was. “Are yooo cheps teyarf ?” He said. Wondering why he was eating a plum I replied that we were. “ More of yooo cheps up yonder”, he enunciated as he pointed at the horizon. I immediately checked behind me to see if everybody was still with me. It was quite possible that with the circles we had followed I may have caught up with my own tail end Charlie. But no, Charlie was still there, so there must be native trailriders about. The posh geezer gave me directions with a warning not to stray onto his fields as some of his “cheps” were using tractors and might chase us. When we finally saw the “cheps”, they were driving about five or six- half million pound combine harvesters. All that money and inbred, I wonder if he wants to adopt me. By now we were coming to the end of the day’s run and as we approached Burcombe I was looking forward to a shower. I asked Dave to stay at the back and make sure no one got lost. This ensured that I got to the shower first and that there was no risk of running out of hot water. THE END

The standpipe was made by Mazvar e Hermanos as a copy of that by Cowans Sheldon https://www.gracesguide.co.uk/Cowans,_Sheldon_and_Co All of the track was ripped up by Renfe, the national rail company.

When we had some of our bikes on display at some county show that bike was there with it's huge round headlight. I made a giant tax disc, laminated it and stuck it onto the round lens when he wasn't looking.

Thought I'd told you all about my T.A medical back in my 20s, already been searched!

OK.....the Greasy Atlantic Northern Portugal Fucker........with a camera! Seems it's only the geographical element that people are finding fault with. Obviously the "Greasy Fucker" part is beyond dispute.

Looks like the Poll has closed and @Grasshopper's Ride has won for the second time! So can you give me a long distance shot (min width 1920) like before Michelle?

At my age everything gets blurry over 45mph anyways.

So, you're starting to try and ride faster than the KLR?

Meh, i like honda's new trail 125, thats more my speed nowdays.

He's being inscrutable!

Tangier's waterfront has changed quite a bit in the three years we've been coming here We were headed to Al Hoceima, which is on the Mediterranean coast. It's a short ride, but still took longer to get there on account of a couple of detours. for @XTreme: See you in a bit, Tangier, we've got a nice coastal road to do We stopped at a fish grilling place right on the beach, and ordered whatever they had, sardines. They didn't speak any french, and a communication error meant that I ordered two doses of fish instead of fish for two, we had a huge amount of sardines to eat, the cats went home happy that day. They brought another portion right after this one Best sardines I've ever had, though, and it was quite cool to be there. Goats don't care if you're growing decorative bushes or gardens Al Hoceima looked like a paradise with little people about and the Mediterranean sea. We stayed by the sea and went to the beach, a pattern was emerging One of the ways we pack light, being a couple and using just one case for all our clothing for two weeks, is that we wash clothes frequently. Most of the places we sleep in are warm and breezy during the evenings, whenever we get somewhere we usually do our clothes in the sink, and by the time we go to bed they're dry. If you carry three sets you're almost always golden. If you carry a fourth you're safe. One o With nightfall, peaceful Al Hoceima came alive, noise and traffic, and lots and lots of people. We had a nap after the beach and went out to eat. Who says you can't have class on a street hole in the wall in Morocco? Another great day

We slept with the bags almost packed, in the morning just had some light breakfast and we were off quite early. It was all fast flowing motorways and nice weather to get to Tarifa. We boarded the ferry early and still went to lunch in Tangier, who says we can't cover ground when we want to? Stopped by Cappuccino and had a couple of tasty sandwiches. Then, living large for the rest of the day Visited the caves next to the hotel, on foot And generally had an amazing day

I meant while riding, @Tym He'll be carrying these in his topbox

Sad to hear about Rui......he seemed a real character!

After a pretty sad meal the day before, only made better by the staff's enthusiasm over having Portuguese guests, we slept quite well listening to the sounds of the ocean. We left our hotel at our usual, not too early not too late, time, and made our way up the coast to Casablanca. Safi, a nice town with a huge refinery, not my kind of tea but people have to earn a living somehow. Never stop: we share a stoplight with this cool dude and his BMW (sound system properly on!) We get to Casablanca for an early afternoon snack instead of lunch, with Portuguese espresso We tried to visit Casablanca's mosque, apparently one of the world's most impressive religious buildings, it was closed for visitations and too foggy to even see the top It's so tall that it's got a laser that manages to be pointed and "making contact" with the minaret in Meca, and the inside is known to be amazing. I'm not one to visit buildings, so I wasn't too bothered by the fact it was closed, but the outside is impressive and beautiful. Instead we focused on finding a good deal on a hotel in the center. Casablanca is the city I've ever been in with the highest concentration of brand new Range Rovers per 100 cars, including London, but I sort of hagled a room price down. We had a nice bed and a guarded parking, that's all I need. We went out after dar for a walk and a meal, and saw a Morocco that was nothing like what we new, with neons and franchise food places, and cabarets We sat outside at a nice restaurant and had pizza and pasta, I don't remember who had what but I remember it was pretty nice. I get excited when I see a cocktail menu so ask for the wine menu, and the waiter tells me all cocktails are non alcoholic, and just that easily he breaks my heart ... Next morning we bug off early in the morning, just in time to catch rush our. It was raining drizzling, so instead of riding on and get wet I stop to look at cars for 20 minutes, it was pretty obvious why we had stopped so we got a good smile from the salespeople And off we go to Tangier But since I'm a sucker for a marina, we stop for a coffee instead ... took us AGES to leave Casablanca Somewhere, we stop for lunch in the sort of place we usually stop for lunch at. A cafe or cafe/restaurant at the side of the road, we figure that since this would be our last lunch in Morocco we might as well go native: Maria goes for the omelette with minced meat, a bold choice! She proceeds to eat it like a local, with her fingers and bread to help along, which I loved watching I have the skewers with a side of hot sauce to dip them in while eating. Onwards, because a 5 star hotel awaits us, we shall splurge! The roads aren't special at all in this area, the traffic sometimes reminds you you're still in Morocco though, but in a good way. I was feeling nostalgic during this last couple of hours of riding before Tangier. Maria asked if everything was ok with the bike, but no, it was just me trying to make it last a little longer. I love the way this people drive and treat the road and other users with respect. They don't really care for rules but at the same time will move over for a faster vehicle, will expect you to move over if they need to avoid a big pothole, if the road can fit three cars then there is no problem in fitting three cars even though there might be some random theoretical line in between, I get along with road traffic in Morocco a lot better than in Europe. This attitude to driving with survival and cooperation makes it simple. I don't get along with big city traffic, though, that is just random As we arrived to the most posh part of Tangier the sole focus is to enjoy the afternoon and evening, before going back home. Early morning and go to Tangier for breakfast, and quickly catch the ferry. This time we rode straight home, stopping right at the border between Spain and Portugal to put our rain suits on. Riding those last few hours in the rain, with the last 2 or 3 hours being already dark, and arriving home to a cold October night was a shock compared to the previous two weeks. We had little to eat at home, so did the smart thing, had a hot shower, and went out to eat while leaving the heating on to come back to a cozy house. We had grilled meat and drank wine in the only place still open in Azambuja!

In the morning me and Maria were back on our own and moving at our own pace. This means that although not in a hurry we ended up doing things in less time, like a well oiled machine. One packs this while the other brushes his teeth, then one grabs this while the other does that, I go for the cases while she goes for the helmets, etc We have breakfast, pack the bike and leave and wave at Rui's bike. I can't lie and say there wasn't a lump in my throat as we left it there. Morning traffic in Marrakech isn't as bad just because the heat hadn't arrived yet, we just moved along with traffic heading out of the city onto the coast. As we move further away from touristy and "cosmopolitan" Marrakech: Lanes? Were were going we don't need lanes! The dial... Morocco is known for it's Argan trees, and with Argan trees come the famous goats that climb trees to eat the organ fruit, some moroccans being the clever dudes that they are, see this as a way to squeeze a couple of coins off tourists, and force goats up a tree and keep them there for tourists to snap pictures with them, while asking for a fee. This is the result, just a sad spectacle, the real thing doesn't compare to this, this is demeaning to the goats and to a proud people. A few kms further on we see the same thing but non orchestrated, but that still doesn't compare to what we saw the year after on the mountains. At the end of the morning we reached the coast at Essaouira The Portuguese had been here before, a long time ago We interrupt our walk for some lunch in a great little restaurant We had orange with cinnamon as starter and fish soup, it was tasty as it should in a fishing town. If you've never tried slicing an orange (a proper orange) and just sprinkling it with a healthy (more than this) amount of cinnamon, do it. It's exotic, very healthy, and will make you look like a chef. After our lunch we just sat inside sipping a little coffee and looking at life going about it's business outside, before carrying on with our walk back to the bike. And thus started our ride back north I don't think any of us enjoyed this part of the ride very much. We were coated with muckyness from the ocean, salty and moist, wasn't very pleasant at all. Eventually we found a place to stay, quite cheaply to be honest, with breakfast included and a swimming pool. Couldn't be any better so we stopped quite looking forward to have a swim and relax. This was is October 2016, yearlier that year Portugal had won the Euro football championship with a goal scored on the last minute, against FRANCE, and they had been pretty sore loosers. We had been getting compliments throughout this trip because football is very big in Morocco and there are few things a Moroccan likes more than to embarrass France. As soon as we presented our passports the reception guy came to hugg me and we were instantly treated like long lost relatives of his Our room's view: Our rooms view within seconds, before Maria could even find her bikini The downside to being treated as football allies against France was that in order to indulge us, the hotel staff simply went on youtube and put on portuguese folk music on a loop. We were tortured by that shit wherever we went, swimming pool, lobby, restaurant, and whenever we told them to turn it off all we got in return were big smiles, a thumbs up and an exclamation of "viva Portugal" They later confessed that Portugal beating France was celebrated on the streets with gunfire to the sky and fireworks, we should have been in Morocco that evening!

After a great night's sleep, we woke up rejuvenated and happy. After a nice breakfast with some proper dark coffee, I took the bike out to the street with a smile. We were off to Marrakesh via part of the High Atlas. It looked promising of great roads and views, we weren't disappointed, but first a stop by the local post office so that Rui could send his daughter's school class a postcard from a small forgotten village in Morocco written in berber. Took him long enough, weather actually changed from morning crispness to hot while he was inside , and we're finally going again! After a while we reach the mountains. Road porn? We were passed by two road bikes going way faster than I wanted to, Rui couldn't hold back any more and went in pursuit About an hour or so of pretty boring riding later, and we're entering the outskirts of Marrakesh A door into Marrakesh We rode around Marrakesh's wall, and visited the reservoir. This reservoir was built in the 12th century to water the Menara gardens and olive trees, it's impressive that it brings it's water from the high Atlas, way in the distance. We were all pretty hot and sweaty now, and negotiated past Marrakech's traffic to get to our hotel and freshen up. And refresh we did Reaction to whatever joke I just finished as always, Rui turned up just in time, just in time for us to go out After a nice shower and some clean clothes, we were eager to go out for dinner in a city where we had spent a few days the year previous, and show it off to our new friend. Rui was going to part ways with us on the next morning, he was supposed to be at work in three or four days, and still someone to visit before being home, so time was ticking for him. Me and Maria were to ride from Marrakech to the coast, and then follow the coast up to see Casablanca and then a stop at our favourite luxury hotel in Tangier before heading home. On our way to Jemaa el-Fna square (look it up) we came accross @Tym's paradise You want to taste something truly great? try one of these orange juices: They're squeezed from cold oranges and a full glass costs pennies, the orange flavor in these is nothing like you can taste in the UK. Jemaa el-Fna is busy, lots of people, lots of food stall, lots of coal grilling, lots of smells and then there's Marrakech's Medina, which branches out from the square. Good thing they don't serve alcohol there because it's easy enough to get lost sober. We found a 1st floor balcony to have some dinner while looking at the bustling square below: Walking back to the hotel after dinner and a few drinks (of coca cola ) we were happy but also sad to be ending ou trip together. In the morning Rui would be getting on the motorway and go at Mach5 on his way to Portugal, at least that was his plan but you know how things went with him We made plans to see each other often.

Wow! Even romance as well! You've set the standard for ride reports now @Pedro

I might have ingested some of those pool water during the day, and felt a little nauseous as well from some lip balm Maria made me wear on account of my dry and cracked lips, the result of said events was that I slept like crap and felt like throwing up throughout the night. We were supposed to sleep in Zagora that day, but I really didn't feel able to get on the bike. Rui was an EMT and had come prepared with some magic stuff, a quick injection, some light breakfast, and an hour later I'm on the bike feeling great. To this day I don't know what it was he gave me. Off we go And just like that, 400km later we're having cold water in Mhamid, no sandstorm drama this time Back in Zagora, for some reason we have no foots of that hotel and evening, it was quite nice sitting outside under some thick trees. Only picture I have is of the concierge's assistant Before heading off to Ouarzazate, in the morning we visited the friendly mechanics and put a sticker on my new bike. Off we go back north, our destination was Marrakesh but first we would sleep somewhere as we were going through the Gorges du Dades and that means a lot of mountain roads, not fast going like here. Stopping to take in the views, we were approached by this guy whose name I was unfortunate enough to forget trying to sell dates (the fruit). We bought some but then he invited us for some tea. His dad did maintenance on cell or tv signal towers there, and he spent a lot of time up there selling dates to tourists. He was pationate about football, and new more about the portuguese league than I did We said our farewells, and got going. Judging by our current location, I wanted us to sleep at the rock hotel built on top of the Gorge du Dades, so we covered ground to get there still with daytime enough to enjoy the place. A brief stop in Oarzazate for something to eat and Rui dropped his bike taking it off the center stand, to receive a few laughs by people sitting in the restaurant. Had we not lightened his gin and vodka load it would have been even harder to pick up Roads were pretty great getting there, although not as dark as on these pictures. Up there would be our accommodations for the night These switchbacks are nothing special as a road, but the place itself is worthy of a good 10 minute stare. We explored the area a little bit, just trying to be good hosts to Rui as he hadn't been here before. And back to our rooms for the night Our meal didn't get on camera, however it was simple and delicious. As the evening was getting cold, a hot meal does wonders for you. There was not much in the way of entertainment, no internet, and 15 minutes after we made it to our rooms the generator was off and we were in complete darkness. The drone of a couple of trucks negotiating the hairpins made us feel sorry for those poor guys driving old-fashioned trucks with no assisted steering and little in the way of lights on that road, but after two or three trucks traffic stopped completely and we slept soundly. Bed was hard but comfy, with heavy whoolen covers. We woke up rejuvenated.

We slept like babies, on a room on the rooftop of the kasbah, a net for mosquitoes on the window, woke up to birds getting busy and singing at dawn We lingered around a little before breakfast Breakfast was to my liking I'll return, for sure: But the road is calling: There's a gas refinery in Errachidia and plenty of army around, for simple security I assume. We aren't that far away from Algeria. You get used to big views I think I put some poor quality fuel the day before on the bike, so as soon as I got an Afriquia station I fueled up, usually Afriquia stuff works well. We've come to Errachidia to buy Rui a sim card, for data and international calls. Administration done, time for some coffee And we're off to the Sahara! Scenery is really changing now We were headed to Merzouga and the golden dunes again, to stay at our favourite place. We were to spend two nights there, taking in the desert, a plan was forming in my head... stay tuned And finally arriving at out oasis, very hot and tired but with some time to kill before sunset. Inside one of Rui´s metal cases were a couple of aluminium flasks with some nice gin and vodka. We quickly ordered a few cold tonics and relaxed a little Tomorrow would be an extraordinary day...

After lunch, we got on our way again, there was a long way to go if we were to sleep where we intended. We were to go through the Gorge du Todra, then to Errachidia and north to where we were to sleep. Maria was back on Rui's bike Good luck passing here when the rains come! After our most touristy stop, Maria's back on with me, and we're off to Errachidia And just like that, we're out of the canyons and onto open space As you can tell by the light, the sun is setting, so we got out of our own way and made a little progress We can smell the desert air by now, but first, a little detour and find our beds for the night. It was obvious we weren't going to make it before nightfall, so we stopped to enjoy the sunset. Sunsets here are amazing, and it was a special moment It was pretty dark when we made it to our accommodation, but we were well received. First a nice shower, then some kind of hot meal I can't remember much about, and plenty of tea. I would have paid good money for a proper bottle of wine

Carrying on, we were starting to arrive at the gorges (canyons) so the land was getting big, the skies were huge that day, and it was amazing, I hope the pictures show half of what it felt like We stop on this hairpin to enjoy the views: Maria rode with Rui for a while, trying to get a few pictures of my bike on the road. I hoped she didn't enjoy leaning against the top case too much otherwise I'd have to get one too After an amazing morning, we stopped for lunch. The air was crisp and clean, perfect temperature, and we ate somewhere with a view Coca Cola attrats flies, deal with it!

We had planned on a big day today, going through Imilchil coming from the north via mountain roads, which we never did before, go towards the desert, visit what appeared on the map as "legionare's tunel", that same valley which we didn't know either, and sleep there. We were up for a memorable riding day After a nice night's sleep, we woke up to a cold crisp morning, and feeling quite eager to get going, packed the bike and went for breakfast. We waited for almost an hour for bread, but then realized that they were waiting for the baker's van to arrive with fresh baguettes. It turned out to be simple but tasty, so we left happy. I might even return to this hotel if searching for a most Moroccan experience After the previous day's dirt roads, Rui had mentioned he had his fair share of eating my dust, so we planned on what looked like pretty good mountain roads, with numbers that made them look important enough to be tarmac. So far we were riding mountain roads of almost European quality, but then came construction work That lasted about 20 or 30km, and it got a little too soft for Maria's confort so she held on instead of taking pictures. At last: Some great roads ahead Starting to climb up to Imilchil, via a very cool mountain pass This was the definition of my kind of road, not offroad, not fast, but not really tarmac either, with great views As we go over the mountain, the road and the views both open up Arriving at Imilchil, we stopped for a tea I was a little cold up here in the mountains, I had come with my summer jacket and a fleece underneath, this was already October so I should have been better prepared. Back on the road

It also didn't ruin my holidays, and simply turned them into the kind of holiday I probably wouldn't have had. I enjoy those memories.