Buckster

You change bikes more often than the Conservative party changes leaders and that’s saying something.

Fireblade because you are a big fat puff.

What could possibly go wrong?

If I had space for a second bike I would consider this.

Doubles as a hand warmer?

The contents of Yens underkaks?

Gay.

Lube the chain. Nope, still don't get it.

If Royal Enfield made a barbecue.

She looks Polish.

I have a 10 year old MacBook that is still running great.

Get the jellied eels ready.

Depends how old the Mac is, the Mac software updates are moving away from Intel based architecture now they have changed to a new processor. If the Mac has a single core intel processor then it is likely at the end of the road for software compatibility.