Renegade

One day a 12-year old boy was walking down the street, when a car pulled slowly up alongside of him, and the male driver slowly wound the window down and kept oace with him as he walked. After a few moments, the driver calls out to the boy, "I'll give you a bag of lollies if you get in the car..." The boy replies sharply, "No way, get stuffed!" Still slowly following him, the driver said, "How about a bag of lollies and £10 then, if you get in?" Clearly even more annoyed at this, the boy retorts, "Are you deaf or something?" "I said no way!" Ignoring this, the driver persisted, still rolling slowly along, to keep up with the walking boy. "OK - What about the bag of lollies and FIFTY QUID then, eh"? Angerd by the driver's continued offers, the boy tells him, "Look, for the very last time, No!, I'm not getting in the fricken car!" Seemingly unfazed by the boys repeated refusal, the driver continues, "OK then, I know what you want..." "I'll give you £100 and the bag of lollies if you just get in the car for me." Furious now, the boy leaned into the car window and screamed at the driver, "NO! NO! NO!! - get it through your thick skull!" "I'm never getting into that car with you!" This time, with a long sigh, the driver simply asked the boy, "Look, what will it take to get you into the car?" The boy replied, "Listen Dad, you bought the Tesla, you live with it."

Last visit yesterday at 6.30

1 year today you left us Pete. R.I.P you are greatly missed mate.

ND --- North Dakota ?

Do you know ******** IF My Best Mate came up to me and said IF I HAD SEX WITH YOUR WIFE would it make us Relation's I said NO but i thought it would MAKE US EVEN LOL

Congratulations to you both. It's my 48th anniversary next week on the 20th May.

A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband is not in bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup of coffee in front of him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee. 'What's the matter, dear' she whispers as she steps into the room, 'Why are you down here at this time of night The husband looks up from his coffee, 'It's the 20th Anniversary of the day we met'. She can't believe he has remembered and starts to tear up. The husband continues, 'Do you remember 20 years ago when we started dating, I was 18 and you were only 16,' he says solemnly. Once again, the wife is touched to tears. 'Yes, I do' she replies. The husband pauses The words were not coming easily. 'Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car' 'Yes, I remember' said the wife, lowering herself into the chair beside him. The husband continued. 'Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my face and said, "Either you marry my daughter or I will send you to prison for 20 years' 'I remember that, too' she replied softly. He wiped another tear from his cheek and said "I would have gotten out today."