yen_powell

He's the Douglas Bader of trail riding! Hopefully he's friendlier to Germans though.

It's his knob, it is just out of sight up his shorts and wedges into the sleeve of the artificial limb so it holds on tight. That's why he is doing a few little stamps after refitting it, to make sure his balls aren't trapped in it as well.

Not a chance, these things will be on the internet forever!

So this is you getting on and off a bike when old and fucked. I can see what you mean, very careful movements, the slight breathlessness. What I really want to know, is how long ago were you fucked before making the video and what was his name?

I watched that On Any Sunday. It was good, don't get me wrong, especially the stuff about Steve Mcwossitsname, but I swear the film lasted about a week. My fave bike film was Stone, the Australian film with lots of big Kawasakis and the beheading in the opening titles.

That collapsing wall may have been lacking in drain holes at the bottom. I went to Seville once, waited most of the day for tyre shop staff to come back from their lunch time snoozette so my mate Charlie could get a new rear tyre. Charlie's knobs had detached on the motorway not long before you see. This is because he was too tight to put a new tyre on before we set off, just used an old one with what he thought was a decent amount of tread on it. I have vague memories of riding around a large bull ring hoping I was using the right bit of a one way road and wondering where the marmalade factory was.

Oh if only there was a Distinguished Scruffs' Ride...Sigh.

It's just brown love boys, just brown love......

You've got a Harley though haven't you, I think Pete meant from a girl.?

I have to admit, he is pretty good, I never considered him to be a good singer when I was a kid and it was on telly every week. Shame he passed away, did you see him in The League of Gentlemen, i think he was running a zoo on a roundabout or something.

Go on Pete, give 'em a blast of Whispering Grass.

I like this cos it's got Xtreme playing the Sergeant major.

You git. Well you have the one of me laying in the mid to put on now.

Thank you. It's even dated, I drew that in 2005 apparently, 'Braintree to Mile End', my commute at the time, long time since I have worked at Mile End.

I thought he had bought the bike from the people repairing it, but must have been wrong.

My next oil change is due at 106,000 miles. I will make a lovely job of getting all the oil into the drain tray, none will leak over the floor, the filter will be carefully emptied so as not to splash anything. And then I will blood kick the drain tray by accident or some other clumsiness and there will be oil everywhere. I am like the Jack Douglas of oil changes.

Sorry, have I misunderstood, he paid for all those replacement parts?

I must have got it about 99/2000, not sure anymore. I haven't ridden it since about 2010. Hopefully I will get it going again.

I mentioned Suzuki today.....whilst trying to wrestle my DR350's swing arm back into place without the whole thing falling over and without the end caps dropping off every time I nearly got everything lined up. I did not say nice words!

Remember the joke where the lady went into the garage and asked for a bottle of L10?

It's a nice castle, but I think it is closed to the public and just used for weddings now. Kentwell Hall in Long Melford on the other hand is a large Elizabethan manor house, got a proper moat, hedges you can walk inside, underground ice house, a farm, huge grounds and a very old camera obscura that you can just go in and have a go yourself (if you know what one of those is). And on certain weekends you can watch people dressed up as twats and acting historical parts for your amusement. The first time I went into the kitchen, a large breasted woman shouted 'passage' at me and pushed past me with a bowl of boiling water. This she then poured down the Elizabethan indoor toilet which apparently was a thing to have in the kitchen as you could chuck the cooking waste down it as well, it all plops into the moat outside the window. The next time I went, there was a bloke using a long bow at some targets. An old couple hove into view standing next to the target and started taking pictures of him just as he was about to let loose. My dad lived in a castle for a few months when he was an apprentice electrician, Allington Castle in Kent. They were doing a rewire for the nuns (Our Lady of Mount Carmel) who had just moved in. He took us there when we were kids and they let me climb into the secret passage/priest hole after pulling a panel out of a seat. It's a private residence now belonging to the bloke who started the MORI opinion poll, so you can't visit it anymore.

Pop up the road to Lavenham whilst you are in the area https://goo.gl/maps/Dzb9WeNAmgM4t1MQ7 then take a slow wander round the streets. Same for Castle Hedingham, ignore the castle, wander the streets of the village on foot, then pop next door to the steam railway which you will probably hear tooting every 10 minutes. Oh and Kersey https://goo.gl/maps/qiQhN1E18g2SAUMK7 . People think Essex is full of yobs and electric pylons, but that is the south. North Essex is rammed with medieval timber framed cottages, not just the villages, but every tiny lane you go down you will find tucked away gems. They can cost a million quid plus to buy some of the bigguns, I reckon there's a hundred thousand millionaires tucked away in the countryside there because no one else can afford the house prices.

Is that a real thing? I thought cuttlefish were like a sort of squid. We only saw the white bone-like bits on the beach when I was a kid, they were everywhere, never saw the creature they came from though.

You need one of those 'twats per mile' charts like the stage show, Are You Dave Gorman. He set out to find every other person called Dave Gorman in the world after a pub bet, a very funny show (and book) with a young Danny Wallace involved, mostly against his will.