Renegade

A young ventriloquist was touring Sweden and, one night, he was doing a show in a small fishing town. With his dummy on his knee, he started going through some of his standard dumb blonde jokes. Suddenly, a blonde woman in the fourth row stood on her chair and started shouting: "I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype Swedish blonde women that way? What does the colour of a woman's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's men like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community, and from reaching our full potential as people. It's people like you who make others think that all blondes are dumb! You and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against, not only blondes, but women in general; pathetically, all in the name of humour!" The stunned ventriloquist started to apologize, but the blonde interrupted and screamed: " You stay out of this! I'm talking to that little shit sitting on your lap."

Four men went golfing one day. Three of them headed to the first tee and the fourth went into the clubhouse to take care of the bill. The three men started talking and bragging about their sons. The first man told the others, "My son is a home builder, and he is so successful that he built a friend a new home for free. Just gave it to him!" The second man said, "My son is a car salesman, and now he owns a multi-line dealership. He's so successful that he gave one of his friends a new Mercedes, fully "loaded." The third man said "My son is a stockbroker, and he's doing so incredibly well that he gave his friend an entire portfolio" The fourth man joined them on the tee after a few minutes of taking care of business. The first man mentioned, "We were just talking about our sons. How is yours doing?" The fourth man replied, "Well, my son is gay and is a go-go dancer in a gay bar." The other three men grew silent as he continued, "I'm not totally thrilled about the dancing job, but he must be doing well. His last three boyfriends gave him a house, a brand new Mercedes, and a stock portfolio."

A Man goes into a Bakers and asks for 2 Bread Rolls..?? The Shop Man picks them up with the Tongs and puts them in a Paper Bag, He then asks for 2 Cakes the Shop Man picks them up with the Tongs and puts them in the Bag. The Man says :- "It’s nice to see you don’t Handle the Food".. The Shop Man says :- "Nothing in my Shop is Handled by Human Hand".. He then noticed a Piece of String hanging out of the Shop Man's Trousers and asks :- "What is that Piece of String for"..??? The Shop Man says :- "When I need a Piss. I just pull on the String and it Pops Out".. "That’s OK" Says the man. "But how do you put it Back"..??? "That’s No Problem", says the Shop Man. "I just Use the TONGS"