Slowlycatchymonkey

And this is for fun?!

Are you crazy, he'll have your eye out with another jumbo top box pic!

Nope they didn’t. Not surprised, they obviously wanted to get away as quickly as possible from their fuckwittery. The motorway runs through the mountains and the drop on the other side of the barriers was cavernous so yer definitely could of been worse and thanks

Laughy face and

Fixed

Bloody hell. I think a lot of us have experienced climbing stuff we weren’t supposed to and losing our footing or nearly slipping off something but that is next level On your own, no-one else goes there and carrying on. Tenacious yep, dumb way to die, yep right up there. Reckon you’re in the lead on a solid 8 out of 10 on that one but being only nine or ten years old you get 1 credit and can knock it down to 7 out of 10 if want Bet you didn’t tell your Ma or Da

Hmm but would you if was all motorcycle gear? Rhetorical question

Bloody hell. Bet you replayed that one through your mind a few times!

They didn’t muck about at my audiology appt and immediately programmed a new hearing aid which was lovely of them. Then on my way out of the dept I bumped the person who first sorted my hearing aids out 13 years ago who gave me a lovely hug and we chatted for yonks about all sorts which was a nice bonus. This means the bluetooth connectivity now works and the trip to the Alps in just over a weeks time won’t be wrecked. Then my new duds turned up and they are all good, so I won’t have to carry normal clothes and hiking gear. They cover all occasions and will easily fit on the panniers. Good day so far

My weekend will mainly consist of route planning (still not done ) and booking accommodation. Getting a haircut. Waving my youngest off back to Uni. Taking the Bandit out for a spin (no there won’t be any photo’s) and sorting out a new tail bag, tank bag and tool kit for the trip.

Well it won’t surprise you to hear I had a crash course in what to and not to do from my Pops before my motorbike even arrived including that stuff but what may surprise you is they teach it on motorcycle courses when you do your licence now. No popping round the block on any old bike and man jumping out of an obvious hiding spot anymore!

Appreciated.

Excellent, 10 years old so you knew better, a solid 7 out of 10 You don’t say Pedro, genius Somehow I already knew there wouldn’t be any kindness or sympathy in your words, don’t like to miss an opportunity do you!

You had to be there Pedro, I was booted out to the right on impact and heading fast towards to the barriers, breaking was definitely the right choice.

Female? You been watching too much Friday Night Dinner?!!

Thanks I was breaking hard before impact and felt like I almost had back control (but I didn’t) so apart from a smashed wing mirror, some scuffing on the engine bars the bike looks remarkably good. Getting the bars out of the barriers was the hardest part! Mind you I’ve not looked at it closely.

Pissed up and drowning unable to swim is pretty impressive. I’d give that 6 out of 10 because it wasn’t you who caused the boat to sink, he gets a solid 7!

Yep it really could have been. Lucky and unlucky at the same time. I realised later I could well of not just killed myself prancing around the motorway like a prize prat on supermarket sweep, I probably would have taken other people out with me by causing a pile up.. guilt galore!

A car. Small car, red, thats about all I caught cos I was otherwise engaged

Can’t get into the wire. Probably too much hype but the bits I saw left me cold.

Film Nobody with Bob Odenkirk on Netflix. Absolute tosh, but somehow entertaining. They took a load of cliche’s and pasted them together (which I found humorous) and chucked in a lot of extreme violence, it flew by.

Last week- Riding on the autovia about 70mph, it was really busy which is unusual. Bump Hit from behind, a tap but enough to send things totally out of control. Careered towards the hard shoulder before coming off. Bike handle bar wedged inbetween barrier but somehow I’ve fallen into the gap the my jumbo panniers created and apart from a shot of adrenaline of epic proportions I am somehow ok. I look down the motorway and see some distance back my tank bag in the middle lane and the contents strewn at large distances across all three lanes. I briefly consider if theres anything that would identify this as mine, there isn’t, then I remember my house keys are in there, meh, so is my pannier key - oh my passport is in my pannier, oh well still not worth risking it - my hearing aids are also in there fuck fuck FUCK NOOOOO. You know vids on youtube of people doing things so incredibly stupid you watch in utter disbelief and think well they don’t exactly deserve to die but perhaps it’s just natural selection doing it’s thing? Yep I ran all over the carriageway of a busy motorway trying to retrieve my hearing aids. Which were in a paper bag cos papers breathable but also very easily blown about by traffic. I haven’t processed the next bit but the flashbacks aren’t fun so moving on. I get back to the bike fully expecting the popo to turn up any second because there’s no way someone’s not going to report a stupid person dancing in motorway traffic and a bike over in the barriers. Ok thats all I can manage now, typing this is making me sweat. Last instalment tomoz, or the next day or whenever I can type without my heart pounding nineteen to the dozen Pretty dumb though ay, beat that!

Have you ever done anything so stupid that it nearly led you to an early grave? Something unthinking you were surprised you survived and look back on wondering how you could have been so dumb? If you haven’t either A) I don’t believe you or B) You lack the reckless gene and we’re probably not friends or C) it’s true you’re not stupid enough to stick a fork in a toaster