XTreme

I still say that colour came out of a bottle!

What Tym said! What you say @boboneleg?

Meanwhile Andrew the Nonce has spoken up......

Looks like this is the most one sided BOTM we've ever had as @Mawsley is walking it! However......is there going to be any vote switching before 8PM? Not sure why @Six30 has got two votes though.......was it out of pity?

Yeh.....that's a sign! But at least you won't have to travel far for them!

Many Brits there?

I've never been down there......what's Motril like then?

The thing is you may wonder how they can remember all these words and whether they're male or female. The reality is that they never actually sat down and learnt them.....it was learnt by actually hearing them said. Think of if you hear a song done live and they get a word wrong or they hit a wrong note......it's the same thing. It doesn't sound right! Same as if somebody said "El Pared" instead of "La Pared".......it would register as strange when they heard it.....like a wrong note. Some Spanish don't always get it right either......some people say "The Sea" as La Mar.......when in fact it's El Mar.

And always tip like waiters, hairdressers etc. Spanish never do, so their reaction is like you've given them a million pounds! And they'll always remember it! If you find a Spaniard who could be important to you (like Guillermo) drop them a bottle of whiskey at Xmas or something. They'll never forget and from thereon they'll go to the ends of the earth for you!

This might be worth thinking about @Slowlycatchymonkey Before you go venturing too far on the bikes I'd suggest you get the two of them booked in with Guillermo for full services.......because it sounds like you've had potchers looking at them in the past. The reason I say do it now is that once you get out in rural locations there's no mobile coverage......so if you get a breakdown in a location like that then you've really got problems. You could book them in together, then spend a few hours looking round the city of Granada......there's a lot to see there like the Alhambra! Don't be put off because it's a city, it's really nice there! No crackheads staggering round or shit like that. This is outside the Hospital that we go to....Virgen de las Nieves! In fact we're back there two weeks Friday!

Guillermo is William......but it's pronounced Geeyerrmo! That's Gee as in Geese! Here's a tip.....as the Spanish are dead easy to get round......if you have one to do a job tell him how good he is at his job! They love to be complimented! Particularly by women! And they go red no matter how dark they are! If you want to break the ice and get them to laugh tell them they're "El Puto Amo" (El Pooto Ammo).....it's a slang phrase they have which literally means he's the fucking boss, the main man etc.

It's a bit different with some of the bike people though! The problem with Brits in Spain is their desire to have friends around them, but are limited to who those can be because they can't communicate to an effective level in Spanish. So they crave the companionship of their "own kind" because they are seen as kindred spirits. The language is the key to the door.....it unlocks everything.

Your trolling has got fucking worse since @Six30 got here Fred. I didn't invite him here to be your fucking mentor!

Just because I like a cup of proper tea (have you ever tasted Spanish tea?) doesn't make me some sort of EDL/Britain First supporting flag shagger! I also like Chinese food......that doesn't make me Jackie fucking Chan does it?

And it looks a very low quality chain as well......but most manufacturers do tend to skip on OEM fitments. My Beemer's chain is pretty flimsy.

Not a used one is it?

They accept you as you are......which says a lot about them considering the self-entitled garbage Brits with superior attitudes that they've had to tolerate for years. That's not to say that there aren't Spanish who are assholes, cos there are.....but they're a small minority. And usually other Spaniards will warn you. Don't believe this bollocks that you'll never be accepted unless you're Spanish......because they've got Spaniards who they can't tolerate in the same way as we have Brits we can't tolerate. This mantra is always recited by Brits that the Spanish don't like. And probably for very good reason too. Now here's some advice: Don't hang about with Brits cos you end up in a "them and us" scenario in terms of how the Spanish will view you. If you need work done always use a local Spaniard. Make connections and get recommendations for other tradesmen from them. Smile and say hello to all Spaniards.....but keep your head down and avoid any Brits whenever possible. Don't trust Brits.....they'll want to know all your business, they'll talk behind your back, and if the opportunity presents itself they'll try and make money out of you. Don't believe a word any Brit says....if you listen to them they were all big players back in the UK despite the fact that they're now trying to flog shit on Brit car boot sales. And the final thing.....just be yourself, be natural, and never get into the Brit mindset of thinking you're doing the Spanish a favour by being there. You're not......in fact they're doing us a favour by making us welcome in their country. That being said, there are some nice Brits over here.......but until you're sure of them just be on your guard.

Was it correctly tensioned and well lubed when you left?

It was a great day when the spirit took you to the camera shop Ian!

Cheers Pedro......you were my first visitor in November 2005 as I recall.

We always felt like fish out of water there Caroline.......as if we weren't meant to be there. We'd have left 30 years ago if not for the fact that we had family commitments that we had to honour, and it wasn't until 2005 that those commitments ceased to exist. When we set foot in Spain for the first time it just felt natural.....like we'd finally come home. Very strange feeling. Even now, we're very uncomfortable around Brits......but totally at ease with the Spanish. But having said that, we're not the sort of people that find it necessary to have other people around us......we just do our own thing. I've always said to people thinking of coming over that it's not a matter of Spain being right for you.......it's a matter of you being right for Spain. And the majority are not because they're too entrenched in their British ways and mentality. We never had British ways or mentality so it was never a case of integrating here.......we carried on as we always did and our ways were a good fit.

.......we left Britain! It seems longer than that really because so much has happened during those years. The two kids have left the country (Scott in 2013 and Steve in 2016), and the three dogs that came with us have long gone! We rescued four dogs here and are now down to one! We also rescued Dylan (the donkey) in 2006 and we lost him two years ago. I brought an XT660 and an XT350 with me...... ......the 660 went 2 months later and the 350 18 months later! So there's been a lot of changes over the 16 year period. But one thing hasn't changed, and that's the fact that we've never regretted it! We said when we left that we'd never set foot in Britain again......and we haven't! Spain isn't perfect, and it ain't for everybody......but it'll do for us!

Aren't you always?

You got two garages Bob? All you need now is a van!

The Spaniards do ride some embarrassing shit though Ray.......so you'd have blended in well!